Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

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Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

Post  Brandon~ on Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:00 pm

Name: Ace Rave
Age: 14
God Parent: Demeter
Mortal Family: Leonard Rave- Father, Darcy Rave- Mother, Kathy Rave- Step-Sister (Dead)
Years in Camp: 2
Brief History: When he was little, his parents met when his dad went out to a buisness convention, he stayed home and was watched over by a babysitter, this babysitter was really rude, she brought knives every time, threatening to cut him every time he wouldn't listen. His father came home with a woman, he introduced her to him, and told Ace that the father was dating her, they met at the convention and fell in love. He grew up with seeing his father's girlfriend for 3 years and he heard that they were getting married, he got to meet his step-sister that would live with him, and got to see the house they'd live in. His sister died of a heart attack when he was 12 years old, he got so mad she decided to change his personality so nobody would think he is a hopeless boy. When he was 13 people started to actually think of him as a friend, not a hater, even though he had a bit of an attitude with him, he was thought of a regular boy. On his 13th birthday, his father gave her a skateboard, he simply tried to ride it all the time, trying to learn how to do it. When he finally learned how to do it, he skated all around the town, doing crazy stunts while doing it. For his first two years during camp he was shy, he didn't really know what to do, he just did what he was told, and listened to his councelers'. This year, coming back from summer he wanted to open up, so he started talking to people.
Physical Appearance: Just by looking at him, you can tell he is a rebel. He has short reddish brown hair, that stands out his personality, dark, but warm. His beautiful gray eyes look like a rain cloud, holding pain and despair. Finally, his wardrobe is almost all guy stuff, T-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and some cool shades. He always wears his shades around, because whenever he takes them off, he is somehow feared by people, his stormy gray eyes scare people.
Personality: Ace loves to hang out with boys, he loves to have a good time, and just fit in with the boys. He also always travels on her skateboard, he usually is riding around on her skateboard, smiling to whoever waves 'hello' to him. He also has kind of a bratty attitude with him though, when someone gives him the weird eye he yells "Whutchu lookin at bitch?" at the person giving her the weird eye. Finally, he is somewhat crazy, he thinks of crazy ideas, and does crazy things.
Fatal Flaw: His Craziness, he may try doing some crazy stunt to kill a monster, and fail.
Talents: Skateboarding, Sprinting, and Artistic
Weapons: Dagger
Other: None<3


Last edited by Brandon~ on Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

Post  ©razy Dude on Thu Sep 05, 2013 8:41 pm

Bio: Needs to be expanded. Tell of how he was brought to camp, what's been going on during those 2 years and I also like to have people tell of how the parents met and how he was born.

Fatal Flaw: This isn't some awkward quark he has. This is how it could possibly lead to his downfall/death. So please have something to fit into that.
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Re: Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

Post  Brandon~ on Thu Sep 05, 2013 8:54 pm

Okay, thanks for telling me this. *Edit*

I edited it a bit! Tell me if I need to fix anything. Smile

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Re: Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Sep 06, 2013 12:18 am

"Craziness" isn't really a flaw... or at least isn't a very well described flaw. Why would you try that crazy stunt? Does your character have a habit of not taking situations seriously? Does your character not think? Is he an adrenaline junkie? There's plenty of actual personality reasons that is not "mentally insane".

Your bio feels rather padded, though I suppose I shouldn't complain about it having too much information.

In your personality: this site has a "No Cussing" policy. Please take out that word.

And finally: Is your character a boy or a girl? There's mostly male pronouns, with random female pronouns thrown in. It's frequent enough to confuse me.

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Re: Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

Post  Brandon~ on Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:13 am

GeneralArin wrote:"Craziness" isn't really a flaw... or at least isn't a very well described flaw. Why would you try that crazy stunt? Does your character have a habit of not taking situations seriously? Does your character not think? Is he an adrenaline junkie? There's plenty of actual personality reasons that is not "mentally insane".

Your bio feels rather padded, though I suppose I shouldn't complain about it having too much information.

In your personality: this site has a "No Cussing" policy. Please take out that word.

And finally: Is your character a boy or a girl? There's mostly male pronouns, with random female pronouns thrown in. It's frequent enough to confuse me.
Oh yeah, this character is copied off from another character I made in a Hunger Games roleplay, so there may be some she's in this, sorry about that. I will try to come up with a fatal flaw, so I'll get to work on that.

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Re: Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

Post  Lily on Fri Sep 06, 2013 8:04 am

Hunger Games Roleplay, huh?

yeah, there's a lot of she's in there, so it gets quite confusing. please fix those.
As for fatal flaw, maybe you could say that his mood changes very often. From reading his bio, I can see that he either gets very very sad and angry to sort of crazy and distracted. But that oesn't come out much in his bio. Maybe you could add that in.
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Re: Ace Rave- Son of Demeter

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