Half-Blood Vengeance
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Marcia Tamarind

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Marcia Tamarind Empty Marcia Tamarind

Post  Guest Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:52 am

Name: Marcia Tamarind
Age: 14
God Parent: Aphrodite
Mortal Family: Joshua Tamarind and Masha Tamarind
Years in Camp: 1 year (Year Rounder)
Brief History: Marcia was a girl with normal family until both of her parents died. After her parents died of car accident, she went to live with her uncle. She was badly abused by her uncle so she left the house. When she left the house, she was lost in the forest, and she found the Half-blood camp.
Physical Appearance: Marcia has red hair without freckles. She wears tank top and short pants usually. She has Emerald green eyes. She wears snickers.
Personality: She is very cheerful, and helpful in arguments. She mostly smiles infront of people. She is very chatty and gossips a lot.
Fatal Flaw: Marcia is very clumsy when she holds weapon. She can’t use weapons except for her poison dart. If she faces an enemy, she would run away, but if she gets caught, most likely she would die. Everytime she gets a weapon, she lose it fast.
Talents: Marcia can negotiate well. She throws poison dart well.
Weapons: Poison Dart
Other: She hides poison dart in her little pocket.

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Post  Guest Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:45 am

more detail for brief history, please. try explaining how her uncle was, or maybe how her parents died. Same for personality, physical appearance, and fatal flaw. I'm not sure if darts can be defined as weapons, here we usually have them as distractions or such. You also have some spelling/grammar mistakes, try putting your current form into Word document and fix them up. I'll check your bio a little later.

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Post  Guest Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:55 am

Name: Marcia Tamarind
Age: 14
God Parent: Aphrodite
Mortal Family: Joshua Tamarind and Masha Tamarind
Years in Camp: 1 year (Year Rounder)
Brief History: Marcia was a girl with normal family until both of her parents died of car accident. After her parents, she went to live with her uncle. She was badly abused by her uncle.He made her work in a farm,and if she didn't work fast,he beated her up.While the uncle was gone,she found poison darts in a warehouse,so she practiced with it.When she left the house, she was lost in the forest, and she found the Half-blood camp.
Physical Appearance: Marcia has red hair without freckles. She wears tank top and short pants usually. She has Emerald green eyes. She wears snickers most of the time.
Personality: She is very cheerful, and helpful in arguments. She mostly smiles in front of people. She is very chatty and gossips a lot with her friends.
Fatal Flaw: Marcia is very clumsy when she holds weapon. She can’t use weapons except for her poison dart.She would use the poison dart for distraction. If she faces an enemy, she would run away, but if she gets caught, most likely she would die. Everytime she gets a weapon, she lose it fast.
Talents: Marcia can negotiate well. She throws poison dart well for distraction
Weapons: Poison Dart (only for distraction)
Other: She hides poison dart in her little pocket.


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Post  Guest Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:16 am

Again, more in personality. And BTW, all you did was add 'for distraction' to everything in your app involving a poisoned dart. You need to let your character have at least one weapons that she's moderately good at. I understand that you want to make a special character. We all do. But there's that random time when your character will be trapped and will have to find a way to survive. If she doesn't, she can't fit into our site storyline. Have her wield a weapon that she can't lose, like Riptide or whatever. A lot of our characters do. And again grammar and spelling mistakes.

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Post  Guest Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:01 am

Name: Marcia Tamarind
Age: 14
God Parent: Aphrodite
Mortal Family: Joshua Tamarind and Masha Tamarind
Years in Camp: 1 year (Year Rounder)
Brief History: Marcia was a girl with normal family until both of her parents died of car accident. After her parents, she went to live with her uncle. She was badly abused by her uncle. He made her work in a farm, and if she didn't work fast, he beat her up. While the uncle was gone, she found poison darts and a dagger in a warehouse, so she practiced with it. When she left the house, she was lost in the forest, and she found the Half-blood camp.
Physical Appearance: Marcia has red hair without freckles. She wears tank top and short pants usually. She has Emerald green eyes. She wears snickers most of the time.
Personality: She is very cheerful, and helpful in arguments. She mostly smiles in front of people. She is very chatty and gossips a lot with her friends.
Fatal Flaw: Marcia is very clumsy when she holds weapon. She can’t use weapons except for her poison dart and dagger. She would use the poison dart for distraction. If she faces an enemy, she would run away, but if she gets caught, most likely she would defend herself or die. Every time she gets a weapon, she loses it fast.
Talents: Marcia can negotiate well. She throws poison dart well for distraction. She can use her dagger well.
Weapons: Poison Dart (only for distraction) and dagger
Other: She hides poison dart in her little pocket. She mostly holds her dagger.

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