Milocross Vixon

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Milocross Vixon

Post  Milocross on Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:36 pm

Name: Milocross Vixon, sometimes accepts nicknames like 'Milo'

Age: 15

God Parent: Erida

Mortal Family: Lysander Vixon (father), Corvus Vixon (older brother)

Years in Camp: This is her first year

History: Milocross lived with her father and older brother in a fair sized home her whole life in the suburbs of Los Angeles, California. While she got in the common feuds most children get in with parental figures and her full-blooded brother, Corvus, she's managed to get along with her family fairly well. Her father always treated her like a princess, giving her whatever she wanted as long as she behaved, which she did. While by day she was a well-behaved spoiled little girl, who even got the master bedroom because her father wanted her to have it, by night she would sneak out to fight. Despite her slender appearance, she was tough. Her bones were practically made out of steel, and she used this to her advantage. She wouldn't go out and fight random people for no reason, it was an assorted club full of martial artists. They practiced Tae Kwon Do, Hapkido, Jiu Jitsu, Wushu, and far many more. Through this club, Milocross managed to learn and master Jiu Jitsu, Hapkido, and Wushu, but couldn't get the hang of Tae Kwon Do. That's all she needed to know how to defend herself and stay in great shape. As far as her father knew, she was asleep in her room all night. Luckily Milo is able to run on few hours of sleep. She preferred not to sleep very much anyways, as she's always been constantly tormented by nightmares. Her father met Erida around a year before Corvus was born, and three years before Milocross was born. They met in a shopping mall after bumping into each other while on the run, and felt a connection with each other.

Physical Appearance: Milocross isn't tall, standing at 5 ft 3 inches. She grew her brown hair down to her waist, mostly straight with a hint of wavyness towards the bottom, but she curls it every day, and she is unable to control the great amount of frizz that comes with it. She's very slender, and enjoys maintaining a very feminine figure, but can't help but feel that there's something wrong with her weight. Her eyes are big and brown, and her eyelashes are long and black(thanks to mascara). Her lips are plump and dull colored, and her body is naturally tan from head to toe. The softness in her skin is irresistible, and she often finds herself running her fingers over the back of her hands to feel the smoothness, though others don't seem to feel the same. Her nose is pointed and awkward looking, and her ears are pointed in an awkward elvish way. Her stomach and arms have multiple scars from self destruction due to anger, which she tends to cover up due to its unattractiveness.

Personality: Despite the fact that her appearance drew many people around her, Milocross isn't the best at talking to people. She uses anger to deal with many things that she liked, often destroying them. She's better at talking to males instead of females, as she often gets into fights with the same gender. She's always gotten along with boys quite well, being able to start conversations with them and keep them going for long periods of time. With women, the opposite. Her great understanding of the human mind and how to manipulate it very well posed a danger to those around her, as she is good at using her appearance to attract the attention of unsuspecting victims. Almost like a succubus. She is excessively full of hatred for the world due to the influence from her mother, and she's been prescribed many different medicines to control her levels of anger. Despising the side effects, she refuses to take them. Her confusing personality has her loving almost everything around her, besides humans. But at the same time, she couldn't get enough of them. At times she can be calm and easy to talk to, but anything can make her angry and attack for little to no reason. She's the type of girl that all the parents want their kids to stay away from. Aside from all her negative traits, she can still be nurturing and kind to others. Her hobbies consist of playing instruments, her favorites being the piano, the harp, and the violin. She also takes pride in her great skill in fighting, using that to keep the conversations going sometimes.

Fatal Flaw: Sometimes Milocross' hatred can get out of control. If someone or something makes her angry enough, she'll skip manipulation and resort to destruction. She's never tried, but she's capable of trying to kill someone if necessary. She will break bones, tear through flesh, and beat people within an inch of their life for offences that required no such action. If no one is around for her to take her anger out on, she will resort to self destruction, having multiple scars on her limbs and stomach from such events.

Talents: Milo is exceptionally talented at playing the piano, having been learning and practicing since she was very young. Her talents also lie in playing the harp, though she's not as adept at it as she is on the piano, and fighting.

Weapons: Milocross favors long distance weapons over all others, as they seem to be the most effective for her. Her favorite is a crossbow that her best friend gave her before she left the club to join Camp Half-Blood. She also carries a small dagger with her for various reasons. Celestial Bronze, of course.

Other: Milocross likes pizza.


Last edited by Milocross on Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:18 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Milocross

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Re: Milocross Vixon

Post  Cerulaen on Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:48 pm

Would you happen to be a Teen Titans fan? : D I recognize 'Corriander' as a variation of Starfire's alien name, Koriandr. ^.^

But anyway. First off, I'm not sure if we have any Hades slots open. But that aside, not that demigods have to be exactly like their parents, but this seems much more like an app for an Aphrodite, or even Eros kid. The majority of your app seems to talk about her beauty and how she uses it to her advantage, which is a pretty infamous Aphrodite trait.

Second off, your character seems much to perfect, and even OP. She's beautiful, rich, spoiled by her mother, and apparently is an amazing fighter. I think you should tone it down a bit. While her having this obscene amount of hatred is all well and good, there's absolutely no reason for it. People don't just randomly hate the world--if they do, they have a reason for it. From I can see, your character has had a great childhood and has no reason to be randomly so violent and full of hatred. Saying it's a disease doesn't justify it, because those particular kinds of diseases or disorders, like bipolarism, are always brought on by events, as far as I've researched. Another personality thing, why is it she has this "great understanding of the human mind"? Again, manipulating people like that is normally an Aphrodite thing, or perhaps Athena since they're all into mind games and whatnot.

For Fatal Flaw, it has to be a personality trait that could possibly be fatal for your character; not everyone else's. I also think it should probably be worded better, like "she gets angry easily," etc. Again, the uncalled for hatred needs to be explained, though.

Besides just being an amazing fighter and beautiful, your character also plays three instruments. That's definitely up Apollo's alley. Being able to play one instrument would be one thing, and still slightly pushing it if your character has everything else going for her, but three is too many for anyone but Apollo, or some other minor god or goddess of music.

Again with multiple objects, you have too many weapons. People normally have two at the most, unless it's a set of throwing knives, etc. Please cut it back to at least that. Besides that, I don't think you should be skilled with so many weapons while at the same time supposedly be an amazing fighter, in two different styles nonetheless.

Also, just as a comment for the Appearance, I don't care how long her hair is really, but someone's hair isn't "naturally" down to their knees. You grow it that long. I would know, I wasn't born with my hip-length hair. Lord knows that would've taken a lot less work. And speaking of taking work, having that length of hair with all her activities seems a bit impractical to me... just sayin'.

Sorry to give you a wall of edits, but please try to address all of those things. Then we'll take another look. I'd like another staff's opinion on the child of Hades thing...
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Re: Milocross Vixon

Post  Milocross on Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:57 pm

Alright, I'll tone it down a bit :p

Originally she was going to be a daughter of Erida(goddess of hate) but I liked the idea of Hades. I'll change it though!
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Re: Milocross Vixon

Post  Cerulaen on Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:26 am

Daughter of Erida sounds better.
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Re: Milocross Vixon

Post  Milocross on Sat May 10, 2014 11:04 am

Okay. I edited that in.
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Re: Milocross Vixon

Post  Cerulaen on Tue May 13, 2014 9:48 am

Okay, had to re-read everything since you've been gone for a while... xP Let's see if I can remember what my train of thought was.

You need to update your Personality section, since it still has mention of your character's good looks (which you changed) and all the instruments she plays (which she mainly only plays one now). Also, I'm still skeptical about the whole "having a great understanding of the human mind and can therefore manipulate people." Besides the fact that this seems a bit OP (over-powered) since she already has all these fighting skills, you also have no explanation whatsoever for it. If you want me to waive it, give me a plausible reason that justifies it. It might make more sense if she's just able to pick up on other people's fighting styles or something like that. I just...don't like the whole 'manipulating people' thing. Once again, that's an Aphrodite thing, and your character has lost her extremely good looks.

Then another Personality thing, the whole 'sometimes angry, sometimes not' thing confuses me. You kind of contradict yourself saying she loves everything except for humans, which she has an extreme hatred for, and then you go back and say that she actually does like people and likes talking to them... So please make up your mind.

Clarify all that, and I think you'll finally be good to go.
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