Odysseus Reed: Descendant of The Triple Goddess (Hecate)

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Odysseus Reed: Descendant of The Triple Goddess (Hecate)

Post  jonathonswinney0 on Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:20 pm

Name: Odysseus "Ody" Reed

Age: 14

God Parent: Hecate, Goddess of Magic

Mortal Family: Dr. Theodoric "Ted" Reed; son of Hephaestus and PhD in theoretical engineering.

Years at Camp: Just Arrived

History:Odysseus "Ody" Reed always has been cunning. Ruining bullies with only his intellect, his fists, and a few dozen rubber-bands was easy for him, especially when you consider that he is always able to literally maintain the illusion of his innocence. At Thirteen his dad vanished, leaving him to fend for himself against a host of foes. On the run from various monsters, he ran into Hecate who revealed that he was not only a grandson of craftsmanship, but also of magic. Hecate then directed Ody to the camp, armed with his usual cunning, Elemental and Illusion magic, and a hand-and-a-half bastard's sword. Even arriving at camp, where he feels most at home he feel alone, though eager to prove himself and defend his new-found home.

[b]Physical Appearance:
Ody's 5 foot 9 frame is gaunt but muscular. His Blood red hair is often long and has the appearance of Gogeta from Dragon Ball Z only with red hair. Often are his piercing emerald green eyes grim and determined. Often times, the other campers liken him to a viper; lithe, deadly, and very swift.

Personality: Odysseus Reed is a loyal, highly intelligent, and analytical person. If He hadn't have know he was a son of Hecate Ody would've assumed he was a child of Athena. He, like his grandfather, is extremely well along at forging things. He prefers to build and learn, but will crush anything that threatens his peace of mind. His loyalty is often seen as fanatic because he would kill another to save his closest friends, which happen to be in Athena, Morpheus, and Hephaestus's cabins. Even in a crowd he feels alone, though he is used to it enough that he accepts that fact.

Fatal Flaw: Ody has a combination of two fatal flaws: Hubris (Deadly Pride) combined with his unnatural ability to hold a grudge often make even him question his own motives for doing things.

Talents: While being good at manipulation, Ody also excels at Chess, Forging, Swordplay, and magic. He loves to read and seeks to become a scientific author to persuade more readers to his views. His love of poetry and riddles often annoy even the Apollo campers.

Weapons: Bastard's (Hand-and-a-half) Sword made of Stygian Iron with celestial bronze edges and a grip of Imperial Gold wrapped in silver wire/ Elemental Magic (Fire, Water, Earth, Wind)/ Illusions

Other: Ody's favorite foods are Nachos and Pizza; His favorite drink is Mountain Dew. He was born in Austin, Texas. His experience in the desert gave him contact and appreciation of snakes, which Ulysses (a western diamondback rattle snake) is his pet.

jonathonswinney0

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Re: Odysseus Reed: Descendant of The Triple Goddess (Hecate)

Post  GeneralArin on Tue Apr 15, 2014 4:08 pm

Okay, several things wrong:

First, the thing that bothered me most. It is called a "Bastard Sword." It is not the sword of the bastard, it is not a possessive. Just "Bastard Sword." Compound noun. And "Hand and a Half" is another term for the exact same thing; the two are interchangeable and using them at the same time is redundant.

Next, you cannot have Iron, Gold, or Silver. Iron is always shot down, Gold is Romans-only, and Silver is hunter-only. It needs to be bronze.


You are not a wizard. Sorry dude. Cut back the spells, because right now it's seriously overpowered. I'll take illusions, but you'll need to specify what sort of thing your character is capable of.

Appearance: I don't watch Dragon Ball Z, and so I don't know who Gogeta is. Take out the character reference and actually describe it to me, please.

Since you're not a hephaestus kid, you don't get any automatic skill at forging. Take that out. I'm not even sure I like you being the son of a demigod, but either way, I'm shooting down the hephaestus perks.

You cannot have a rattlesnake as a pet for a number of reasons. Consider that shot down too.

Your fatal flaw only tells me that he second guesses himself. It doesn't tell me why, how that's a bad thing, or even why it's fatal. And your description doesn't make any sense. How does pride+grudges=second guessing himself?

A couple things are out of place: Where your character was born should be in History. Anything you're good at or like to do should not be in Personality. And for the Personality, the second and third sentences aren't really necessary, and then "He prefers to build and learn, but will crush anything that threatens his peace of mind" feels a bit awkward. Clarify this.
And how can you have several close friends across several cabins and still feel alone?



Overall, your character feels extremely overpowered and unrealistic. Fix that.

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Re: Odysseus Reed: Descendant of The Triple Goddess (Hecate)

Post  Cerulaen on Tue Apr 15, 2014 7:56 pm

There should also only be one Fatal Flaw. Choose your most dominant trait that influences the most of your big decisions, and go with that one--then explain it, as Jake said.
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Re: Odysseus Reed: Descendant of The Triple Goddess (Hecate)

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