Michael Steel son of Nike

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Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  Michael Steel on Fri May 02, 2014 3:19 pm

Name: Michael Steel

Age: 14

God Parent: Nike

Mortal Family: Dad Frank Steel

Years in Camp: 4 years

History: He grew up in Connecticut for the first 3 years of his life. After that he and his dad moved to New York City until his dad died under mysterious circumstances when he was 6. For about a 3 after that he moved from foster home to foster home staying at one for no more then 5 months before attempting to run away until his 9th birthday. On his 9th birthday his mom started guiding him to camp and then claimed him. Since he got to camp he has done everything he can to improve his developed abilities. He has done a lot of running with Hermes children and swimming with the nymphs in the lake. He has worked on ranged weapons and accuracy with Apollo's children. He has learned a decent variety of fighting techniques and tactics from Ares and Athenas children. His started to learn because one of his foster parents had him take classes.


Physical Appearance: He is strong and muscular. He has dirty blond hair and brown eyes. His skin has a very light tan from all the time he spends outside. He has a small scar under his right ear from when he was escaping monsters.

Personality: It can take a while for him to fully trust you but once he does there is very little that can break it. He is always ready to stand up for whats right and will defend friends and loved ones to the end. He is very observant and usually will assess the situation for at least  minute before charging into a fight or playing a sport. He gets along with Athena's and Apollo's  kids really well and is social around almost every camper on camp. He can be a bit broody if he is on his own but around people especially siblings he is really happy. During a battle he is calm observant and does not let rage determine what he does. In sports he thinks out strategies with Athena campers before playing.

Fatal Flaw: Loyalty. Michael is extremely loyal to people and friends once they have earned his trust. He will stand by his friends side in battle to the end even if it means defeat.

Talents: He is an extremely good fighter. He is good at Taekwondo and Karate and knows about a lot of weapons and tactics. He can run extremely fast and has slightly above average stamina when it comes to sports and fighting. He is also very good at predicting victory.

Weapons: He uses two identical one handed swords that can be combined into one double sided sword. He also uses   throwing knives and stars.

(I hope i fixed what needed to be fixed please let me know)


Last edited by Michael Steel on Tue May 06, 2014 3:48 pm; edited 6 times in total (Reason for editing : Changing some stuff)

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Re: Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  GeneralArin on Fri May 02, 2014 9:18 pm

You wandered the streets of New York City alone, and had several monster encounters alone, and you're alive? Intact?
Why did your character wander the streets alone at six years old, instead of say, going to a friend/relative's home or being taken to a foster home by social services?

Your fatal flaw lacks the "fatal" bit, please elaborate on why this is a bad thing.

Yes, there are too many weapons. Drop two.

Your power sounds like a gamebreaker, and is incredibly vague. Explain or drop it. 

Are you great at every sport or great at winning games? Because you don't necessarily have to be good to win. Sometimes you're just lucky. Or a decent player and lucky. What if it's a sport or just a match where there isn't really a winner or loser, like golf or bowling or a random friendly match where no ones keeping track of points?
You can predict victory, that's fine, but automatically being great at everything is pushing it. 


Your personality feels lacking. Perhaps include how he generally acts towards people and situations.

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Ok

Post  Michael Steel on Fri May 02, 2014 10:13 pm

I will edit it and then update it and change the stuff

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Re: Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  ©razy Dude on Sat May 03, 2014 12:12 am

From what I'm getting from his abilities he's good to great at everything. I realize that he would have been at camp for 4 years but still it takes years just master a certain form of fighting such as martial arts. Plus to top it all off he's mildly to mastered other fighting skills such as archery, swordsmanship, etc. This character seems too much like a god mod.

The only thing I could really see him mastering in such a short term is some hand to hand combat techniques and his stamina. Seeing as how that would come natural to Nike's children. That's really the only complaint I have about this character.
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Re: Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  Cerulaen on Sat May 03, 2014 2:08 am

...can crossbows be mini and still useful? Also, I don't think Camp Half-Blood offers martial arts training there--if you want your character to have those skills, there needs to be some kind of plausible explanation for them in your History section. And with his backstory, I doubt you'd be able to squeeze more than one form of martial arts training in there, if any.
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crossbow and martial arts

Post  Michael Steel on Sat May 03, 2014 11:27 am

The crossbows are the size of handguns and work the same way except they shoot arrows. Also he learned wrestling at camp and some from children of ares and books from Athenas children

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just curious

Post  Michael Steel on Sat May 03, 2014 11:36 pm

Im just curious does this have to be approved and if so has it been.
Thanks

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Re: Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  Cerulaen on Sun May 04, 2014 5:52 pm

Well, regular-sized arrows are a lot larger than handguns, and a crossbow of that size wouldn't be able to shoot one very effectively. And shooting mini arrows would be more of annoyance than critical damage. I think you should just drop that, since you've already got two swords and throwing knives--that's plenty of weapons for one person.

Secondly, 4 years in camp is not enough time to master several types of martial arts, as well as weapons. If you're going to have two kinds of weapons as well as fighting, you can have one type of martial arts--I'd prefer if you named it--that he's well-versed in. "Mastered in" is pushing it--it takes quite a bit longer than 4 years to master anything (there's an actual experiment on that, and it takes like, 20 years--of doing nothing else). Aside from that, not every Ares kid knows martial arts--I think most of them just like punching things, and are prone to aggressive shows of behavior. So: one type of fighting.

Yes, this app needs to be approved (all do), and no it hasn't been yet. We'll tell you when it has, and it'll need to be by two staff before you can start RPing. xP So just hang in there a bit longer.
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updated

Post  Michael Steel on Mon May 05, 2014 7:05 pm

I updated it

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Re: Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  Cerulaen on Tue May 06, 2014 12:59 am

Eh, looks like a toy to me. Like I said, I'd rather you just take it out. You have two swords and who knows how many throwing knives. That's close range and long range--plenty of weapons that are versatile enough. I don't feel like opening up another page to check, but if you don't already have it, put the reasons he knows Karate and (was it TKD?) in the history. After that, I think you should be good.
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recent edid

Post  Michael Steel on Tue May 06, 2014 3:49 pm

I just got rid of the crossbow and added 1 other thing about training.

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Re: Michael Steel son of Nike

Post  Cerulaen on Tue May 06, 2014 7:19 pm

Ungrateful child, running away from his foster parents when they gave him fighting lessons. xP Lawl, but anyway, I say it looks good. Approved. Just wait for one more staff member to approve it!
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