Gusty Charm

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Gusty Charm

Post  Gusty on Sun Jul 13, 2014 12:42 pm

Name: Gusty charm
ag e: 12

God parent: zeus

Mortal faImily: samantha charm (sami) (died) she and Zeus met on a plane to Athens, she was always fascinated by the Greek gods, so they had a great deal to talk about. Zeus fell in love at first sight. Their  relationship was good, grew!  but until she was pregnant Zeus never told her who he really was, after that he disappeared like a jerk and left sami heartbroken

Years at camp: just litrally joined

History: Gusty has been kicked out of many schools, for pranking, but her pranks used to go over the line a bit, ie bucket of water dropped on head, someones pants on the school flag. she also got kicked out for fighting with other students. She's even been in trouble with the law before, for cracking a paperweight over someone's head and knocking then unconcious but the teacher thankfully decided not to press charges and instead, Gusty had to take anti-deppressant pills to calm her down and keep her from feeling so depressed which made her feel numb and lifeless. She stopped taking them around the age of 10.

When she was 8 she and her mother were driving along a motorway, Sami seemed distracted but 8 year old Gusty really didn't notice, she was watching some sort of program on her mother's phone with the volume of her headphones turned up to full blast listening to the beat. Suddenly her mom stopped, deciding to pull over by a straw field.
Gusty asked her mom what was going on, her mom grabbed her wrist so tight that she still has a mark; it's kind of a memory of that day.

"Gusty." Sami said sternly, she had seen that soon she would get split up from her daughter, social services had decided that she was treating gusty badly (which she was not) as of Gusty's behaviovur so she wanted to tell gusty who she really was before it happened.
"You are different, special. You are a daughter of lighting, one of the only few." Natrually to monsters once demigods find out more about themselves they become more 'smeller'
"what do you mean?" Gusty had cried sensing the seriousness of the situation.

Sami opened her mouth to speak but a woman started getting out of the car behind  them, she was tall with shades, she walked towards them really elegantly "are you all right deary?" She asked them.
Sami still was holding Gusty's wrist, the eight year old  was staring at her mother, "Yes engine problems." She muttered smiling.
"Do you want me to have a look at it?"
"Alright."
The two woman walked over to the bonet whilst Gusty went back to staring at her mother's phone easilly sidetracked by what was going on but she held her mother's hand tightly with one hand.
"Yes, you see this?" The woman said holding up a bolt in front of her face, removing her shades to peer closer at it, Sami unknowingly turned to look straight at the woman; her skin became grey. Stone.
Gusty refused to look away from her Mom "ma? Ma?!"
The woman who was medusa pushed the stone statue onto the car, and because the stone wrist was wrapped around Gusty, fell back too, she fell straight through the glass and into the car where she slid underneath the wheel, bleeding from the head. and blacked out. Medusa thinking gusty was dead fled.Dont ask how Gusty lived that day, she won't tell, she can hardly remember anything. she remembers crawling out of the wreckage;the wrist of her mother was still around her's, she cried and snapped it off before running. For some reason no one ever found her. She lived for 3 years on the streets, not wanting to live in an orphanage.

She grew a close connection to a boy named Edward who sympathised with her story, telling her that she wasn't insane which was comforting, they helped her constantly, she had no idea why she still trusted him. But he trained her even though she was cold and starving, she felt like death. Gusty had become a dangerous weapon or at least was on the path to becoming one (the person i will make if im allowed a second person in a few months)

Edward started putting pills in her drink, designed to make her sleepy and disorentated, she had thought she was going crazy, she had blurry mermories of stabbing monsters with her sword.

Finally, Gusty had been made convinced that Edward had reconsiled things with his parents and she could come live with them too but as soon as she got in the car, they branded her with the tiatan's mark and she kicked and struggled not knowing what to do.

Aetos the eagle had been sent by Zeus to take her to camp, he was a beautiful golden eagle, he rapped at the windows and Gusty fell out of the moving vechile. Gusty could barely hold up her own weight to walk, she was certain she was insane when he spoke. She could understand an eagle!! It took a lot of pain and effort to get to camp but she finnaly did, where she collapsed passed out for a full week, and during her unconciusness she was claimed.

Phisical appreance: for a thirteen year old, Gusty is quite small for her age being only 140cm which is 4. 47 ft ( i searched it up and ill keep her like that but she'll grow), She has short hair the colour of ebony, a set of full lips and dark blue eyes that seem to glow. Theres usually cuts across her knees or bruises. Her knuckles are cut. She has a beautiful smile, its cheeky but cute and memorising. a scar from the wrist is round hers. her hair grows really quick so it's hard for her to keep the short style. Usaually seen wearing a checked shirt or a hoodie.

Personaity: shes exstreamly tomboyish, in the sence that she wears boy clothes hates girly things, is really sporty, and tough. Shes funny, sarcastic, cheeky but has a really soft side when she wants to show it. she gets angry when people mention her past, and also if anyone insults/ threatens to hurt her or her friends, because she never gives up on them, she's determined and loyal to protect them as though she's sworn to it
She always decides on things in fights quickly but in other situations ie getting offered something she needs time to think. Her personality makes her not afraid to get muddy or bloody in a fight, she's brave like clarrise but not a bully!

Fatal flaw: she has one almost like percy jackson himself, she can never give up on friends, ever since she lost her mother shes been prepared to do anything for her loved ones, so in a quest it would be fatal if she had the choice of completing the quest or saving her friend, it would be a very tough decision

Talents: Gusty is advanced with a sword, she also thinks diffrently then other people, using diffrent methords and her own made up moves, which she taught herself during her years on the streets she is also quick to act and can stall enemies, she can think of a plan before you can say holy zeus! But sometimes they dont go to plan. and she puts her effort into everything but also she has incrible upper body strength (like me XD) and knows a little of boxing.

Weapons: gusty has a watch which she was given to by this strange man who was in fact her father she thought it was just a watch but she realised that she could read the Greek letters around the rim It said 'i open at the turn' well she turned it and instantly she had an awesome cellestrial bronze sword. . The pranks in her pockets are like stink bombs and smokebombs ect

Other: can she have  a pet eagle? if so his name is aetos. She'll have lightning powers then I guess.  and is scared of heights. Gusty was named by zeus. Gusty means heavy winds. However the name was described by zeus as "just athe winds change suddenly,  so do people, choose your path carefully. This is why iyour name is gusty."


Last edited by Gusty on Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:24 am; edited 10 times in total (Reason for editing : fixing errors)
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Gusty

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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  Cerulaen on Mon Jul 14, 2014 12:06 am

The thing I'm going to say first off: you're missing the 'Years in Camp' section right under 'Mortal Family'.

If you want to have Zeus, your app is going to have to be waaaay more detailed. I'll give you a list of things that need to be answered, and if you really want Zeus, you'll have to answer all of them. So let's see how much you want this. xP

History: How did her mother, Sami, meet Zeus? What was their relationship? How long was it before they left? What was Gusty's relationship with her mother? How did they get along before she died? What did Gusty get kicked out of schools for? What happened with this run-in with the law you spoke of? What happened after the Cyclops fight, since you literally skipped 4 years of her life? How did she find camp? Was she in foster care? Please tell me how Gusty "lived that day," I'm really quite interested. Saying she was "too traumatized" is a cop-out explanation if I ever saw one. (And I've seen a good many on this site.)

Physical Appearance: Just for the sake of understanding, 145cm is just a little under 5ft, 4'9" to be exact. You might wanna add that in for clarity. xP

Personality: It is stated that you need at least 4 sentences for the personality, so that obviously needs some expanding. I like what you have for your personality, she seems like a cute, quirky girl, but it's good to explain the different traits. For instance, is there a reason she's so tomboyish? Please give some examples of what you mean by her being "tomboyish." Does she like sports? Video games? A certain kind of humor? Then a way to expand the personality is to tell us how she would react to certain situations, like how easily she gets angry, how does she make decisions, how does her personality affect the way she fights, etc, etc.

Fatal Flaw: You can only have one FF, and the second one doesn't count anyway, since it's not a personality trait (you can put things like fears in the 'Other' section). I've noticed your character is already quite a bit like Percy himself, and you using his FF as well as referencing him only seals the idea for me. There's nothing wrong with having loyalty as a FF, but your FF always needs to correlate to your personality. Basically, your FF needs to be one of your regular personality traits taken to the extreme, and is the basis for the majority of the decisions you make. So either add in her loyalty and expand upon it in the personality, or change the flaw to something that's already in her personality and tell us how it could be fatal.

Talents: I don't know if any 12-year-old can be "incredibly amazing" at sword fighting with no training, no matter how much raw talent they might have. You have mentioned nothing about her being in camp, so I'm going to assume she's new (this is why it needs to be explained in the History/Years At Camp sections). Just because you "make up your own moves" does not make them good or effective, and senior campers would definitely still be able to beat her. Before I decide much on this, I really just need to see what's up with her History.

Weapons: If she already had a magical transforming weapon, does that mean she's been at camp for a while? Or did someone give this to her? If so, who? Is the Swiss Army knife Celestial bronze? Who gave it to her? What do you mean by "pranks in her pockets"?

Other: Zeus = lightning, not fire. I have no idea where you're getting fire from. In other words, no, you cannot be a fire-bender. The eagle is okay, though, I don't think he would like being referred to as a "pet." xP Eagles tend to be one of those free-spirited creatures. Also, it would need to be explained how she met him, how she became friends with him, why he sticks around, how long they've known each other, etc. You can put that in the history or Other, but it needs to be explained somewhere.

As a separate note, you might want to copy and paste this into Microsoft Word, just to help with some of the spelling.

So...if you really want Zeus, have fun fixing all of this. xP Good luck to you. We don't have any active Zeus kids at the moment, so it'd be cool if you stayed. Again, good luck!
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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  Gusty on Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:35 am

Edited, I really want Zeus Razz
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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  Cerulaen on Tue Jul 15, 2014 12:09 am

Okay, this looks much, much, much better. Good job. Just still a few notes/things that need to be fixed:

- No half steel/half bronze knife. We only use bronze here, or silver if you're a Hunter
- Since the knife is Celestial bronze, mortals wouldn't be able to see it anyway cuz of the Mist, so that kind of nulls the whole "in trouble with the law" thing, unless you come up with another reason
- Jake suggested maybe Zeus gifts her the sword instead, which would be more believable than just finding it and would clear up the knife business in any case. Jake also insists that means it needs an epic name, but that's your choice. xP
- Looking at your weapons, half bronze/half silver isn't allowed, either. Once again, only bronze.
- Just because she's been swinging around a sword for 3 years does not make her advanced. She doesn't have to be a complete novice, but no self-taught swordsman can be all that good, so fix that. Even with your "made up moves" (I'm really not sure how many new moves you can make up in sword fighting, especially against someone who is advanced), you're not going to be able to beat people who have had actual sword training for some time. So don't expect to. The upper body strength thing...just be reasonable with it. She's tiny and young and, not to be sexist, but, a girl--don't go all hulk-amazing-strength-ness or something.
- Yes, you can have the eagle, no, you still cannot have fire. You can have the normal Zeus powers, which are technically OP enough.

- Again with the spelling, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but you spelled 'Celestial bronze' as 'collestral bronze.' xD Try Microsoft Word spellcheck?

Fix all that, and I think you should be good, so long as I didn't miss anything.
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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  Gusty on Tue Jul 15, 2014 3:18 am

Sorry I can't put this onto Microsoft, I'm on my tablet, Iddon'thave a computer and I'll think of a name if I can. Edited.
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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  GeneralArin on Tue Jul 15, 2014 4:52 pm

Don't worry about it too much, I figured it was an autocorrect issue. It happens. 
And the name was really me joking around, because anything divinely given seems to have an overly epic name. XP It's okay it doesn't have one. 

Just a note, you can be talented with a sword, but that won't necessarily mean you win a lot of fights with experienced people right off the bat. Natural talent only goes so far, and self-taught doesn't help much against other swordsmen. Sorry if that is getting repetitive, but that tends to be a problem with new people in fights. 

Anyway, other than the couple notes, I think it looks good. I actually was pleasantly surprised to see you added so much after the prompting. (Most people either give up or make it like pulling teeth. XP) 

Anyway, I say approved. 
And I'm going to assume Ceru gives her blessing with her last comment, so welcome to the site!

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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  Cerulaen on Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:31 pm

Yes. I totally give blessings. *sprinkles magic dust sparkles everywhere* Congrats! Don't get on Ri's nerves. xP
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Re: Gusty Charm

Post  Gusty on Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:47 am

Yay! Thank you!
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