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Isabelle Winfield

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Isabelle Winfield Empty Isabelle Winfield

Post  PhoenixGold Sun Aug 24, 2014 5:37 pm

Name: Isabelle Winfield

Age: 12

God Parent: Apollo

Mortal Family: Eliza Winfield (Mom), Mia Winfield (little sister)

Years in Camp: just arrived

History: I grew up in a small town called Zerf, in Germany. Me and my family had a huge house beside a lake there. We had tons of empty rooms and space. One thing I never understood was how my mother could earn enough money to be able to carry on living in that house. I would spend my hours practicing bow and arrows, and looking out over the lake. All I knew was that I had always loved archery. Every time my hand closed around the handle of my bow, a warm feeling flooded me. It was just my nature. The same as music is my nature. People used to hear me playing long tunes early in the morning, and there was a time where I was known as the 'Wonder Flute'. I didn't just play the tunes. I felt them too. Every single note was wonderful, and brought up a memory.

In school not many people ever complimented me for anything. I had horrible grades, even in music. But that wasn't because of a lack of talent or anything. They just made us play these boring songs, nothing that the 'Wonder Flute' would play. After a while I stopped playing the flute. It still is laying somewhere, dusty and forgotten. I got suspended from the school. We had to move somewhere else. My life had made a sudden change, and I hated sudden changes.

My mom had told me that my dad had drowned while trapped in a sinking boat once. I never got to meet him. She had told me that I had gotten the musical talent and the archery skills from him. What I wondered all my childhood was: Who WAS my dad?

Physical Appearance: I have wavy, long dark brown hair with golden highlights. Most of the time I am pretty pale, even though I spend lots of time in the sun. My eyes are of a bright blue, that my friends describe as 'shining'. My eyelashes are long and dark. I am average size for my age and slim.

Personality: I have a sarcastic nature, like responding to questions with questions. I am very musical and funny, typical for a child of Apollo. I am confident and not shy at all. I am also pretty intelligent.

Fatal Flaw: I am scared of the water. Since the detailed story of my mom when she described my dad drowning in the lake, I am scared of deep lakes or oceans. Of course now I know that he didn't really, but when I was young I was swimming in the lake in front of our house, when something pulled me underwater. I nearly drowned there.

Talents: Very good at logical thinking and archery.

Weapons: Bow and arrow and a small bronze dagger.

Other: -

PhoenixGold

Posts : 1
Drachmae : 3
Join date : 2014-08-24

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Isabelle Winfield Empty Re: Isabelle Winfield

Post  GeneralArin Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:44 pm

Alright, sorry. School's coming into full swing now, and I'm still getting settled into the routine. I wanted to hold off until I could actually put some thought in the critique. 

First off, a fatal flaw is a personality weakness, not a phobia or preference. You can keep the phobia, and I like that, but just move it into the "Other" category. What I normally advise is to take your personality, chose the main aspect of it, and just exaggerate it until it would become a problem for your character. (Eg. My character, Jake, is very determined and focused person, and his fatal flaw is that he's extremely stubborn and doesn't like to quit, even if he's behind.)

For your personality, maybe add a bit on how they tend to react to situations. Are they thoughtful or reckless? Are they patient or do they hurry along? How do they handle stress? Things like that. 


History: How'd you come to the states? How did you get to camp?
GeneralArin
GeneralArin
RP Supervisor/SoldierA

Posts : 2791
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Isabelle Winfield Empty Re: Isabelle Winfield

Post  Axel The Bunny Tue Aug 26, 2014 3:59 pm

oh and because Jake didn't mention it, your app needs to be in third person, this is written in first person.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

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Age : 27
Location : Causing needless destruction

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Olympian Parent: Axel-Hermes. NIx: Hephaestus
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