Charlotte Feu

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Charlotte Feu

Post  yahoodle on Tue Mar 03, 2015 3:37 pm

Name: Charlotte Feu

Age: 13 years old

God Parent: Daughter of Hephaestus

Mortal Family: Rebecca and Anthony Feu.

Years in Camp: Been in camp for 3 years

History: Home life was fairly normal until I witnessed my "auntie" come to life and attack me in my room when I was 9. For a year, I was travelling with my parents to try and get away from the monsters, until my mother found camp half-blood. I've been creating weaponry and technology for the camp since I was 10. (Any more....?


Physical Appearance: Medium Auburn hair and hazel eyes, with tan skin  and quite short

Personality: Quite aggressive to people that she doesn't like, but is quick to warm up to people. Often takes fights too far, and will never back down. Unfortunately, she often chooses fights she can't win.

Fatal Flaw: Hot-headed (Often chooses bites off more than she could chew)


Talents: Exceptionally good at creating weapons for others - had been creating them since 10 years old


Weapons: Uses a long imperial gold sword with black engravings on the handle


Other: Good friends around the camp, hates the Athena cabin

yahoodle

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Re: Charlotte Feu

Post  GeneralArin on Tue Mar 03, 2015 8:53 pm

I always like seeing new Hephaestus kids, but I'm biased.

Anyway, for the most part, there's a sentence requirement, so try to hit that for the categories. It's 4 for Personality, Appearance, and Fatal Flaw, and I think it's around 8 for bio.
A few suggestions to lengthen the categories:
Bio: Describe what 'normal' is for you. Parent relations to each other and you. Some people talk about school or conception. You could mention more of your "auntie" that apparently died. Then if you did anything else at the camp; making friends, making enemies,  random interesting situation that gives us a glimpse of your character.
Personality/Fatal Flaw: These two should connect up, so mentioning your temper in Personality should let you hit the sentence limit, but adding other things about how you react to people, situations, and such would help make it feel a bit more complete. Then the Fatal Flaw needs to be explained a bit more, by describing what you mean by "hot-headed" and tell us why this can cause your character's downfall both in huge situations and even minor situations.

You can only have bronze weapons at camp, gold is Roman-only.
Then you mention hating Athena cabin. If there's an interesting story behind that, you can stick that under bio.

You have a good start here, just need to expand on a few things.

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