Ave Wintermist

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Ave Wintermist

Post  ColinGriswald on Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:22 am

Name: Ave Wintermist

Age: 13

God Parent: Khione

Mortal Family: Father: Richard Wintermist

Years in Camp: 0.5

History: His father met Khione when he traveled for research to the South Pole. Khione was disguised as one of the researchers to make sure the pole was still as safe as it could be. One of the scientists had set up a machine that could begin to melt the ice cap, and the seaside underneath would perish. As Khione rushed to stop him, Ave's father was already there shutting everything down. Over the year he was there, him and Khione fell in love, and she eventually revealed who she was to him. She offered to keep him here forever, as her husband, as she truly loved him, when he accepted, Khione was overjoyed and whisked him away from the facility to her home on the frozen tundra. Years later, when Khione was pregnant with Ave, he was killed by other researchers, who believed he was something else. Khione fell into a depression after this, she had lost the love of her immortal life and had only their son to remember him by. She could not bear to keep him, after a few years, she gave him a few dozen weightless books, and a mystic sword that would grow with him, and cast him out after clearing his memories of her and his time with her. Once abandoned, he had to survive in the tundra, living alone and eating mostly fish, with only his books to keep him company. Although it seemed that once he had read one book a few times over, it disappeared and a new, different book was left in its place. Eventually the same group of researchers who had returned year after year found him at age 9, alone on the tundra, unharmed and wanting to return to where he was. They took him back to America with them and placed him in an orphanage, the sword had disappeared for a time, and once he started being attacked by monsters, he escaped the orphanage and ran. As he did so, his sword came back to him. And after years running, and devouring any scrap of knowledge he could find, he found his way to Camp Half Blood... And here is where Ave's true story begins.

Physical Appearance:
Hair: Ice White, when he is too hot slowly changes to black.
Eyes: Ice White, laced with sapphire blue flecks, and streaked with gold lines.
Body Type: Small and Limber, around 135 lbs. 5' 6"

Powers: Has a minor version if Leo's fire power. Can do most things he can, though in lesser intensity. and he gets tired when he uses it too often. Can make tools out of ice, but no bladed tools/weapons as they are dull.


Distinct Markings: Pale white face is pockmarked with freckles and there is a scar crossing over his left eyelid, one inch (rough) above and below it.

Personality:
Usually likeable, but when he begins to overheat, he becomes quick to anger and hard to work with. Has a strong tendency to withdraw into himself and his books at times of stress. Was permanently scarred when Khione revealed what happened to his father, and he will do anything to prevent that from happening to him. Harbors no grudge at Khione from this, as he understands that it wasn't her fault.


Fatal Flaw:
Is terrified of death. Firstly, if his life is on the line, he will do anything to prevent it. Secondly, if his friends are going to die, almost anything will be done to stop it from happening.

Minor Flaw:
The heat is the bane of his existence. His hair and personality change, and he becomes irritable and hotheaded.

Talents:
Fast, can navigate a snowstorm, or most windy environments/weather phenomena with extreme ease. Very intelligent, loves to read. Can see in the dark, his eyes glow when he does this.


Weapons:
Wavy, slightly curved, single edged sword made of ice that never melts, blended with Celestial Bronze.


Last edited by ColinGriswald on Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:31 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Re-Format and Power Reduction)

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Re: Ave Wintermist

Post  GeneralArin on Sat Mar 28, 2015 1:05 am

Well, first off, this isn't in our app format. At all. So up in the main area of the "New Character" zone, copy paste our character app.

And I'm going to veto the magical disappearing ice phoenix that doesn't do anything, and limit the powers you're suggesting.
Here "Fatal Flaw" is a personality shortcoming, and speaking of which that is also way too short.

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Re: Ave Wintermist

Post  ColinGriswald on Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:01 pm

Do I just create a new character post? And do i just remove the Ice Phoenix thing? And how do I limit the power?

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Re: Ave Wintermist

Post  GeneralArin on Sun Mar 29, 2015 5:10 pm

I'd prefer you just edited the original post with the proper format, then let us know you edited things.

When you transfer it to our character format, take out the ice pheonix, change the fatal flaw to align with your personality, and bulk up your personality.
When I say limit the power, I mean make it less powerful or less versatile.You're a minor god kid, so the powers wouldn't be that spectacular, and the power listed can do pretty much anything.

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Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

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Re-Format

Post  ColinGriswald on Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:28 pm

I have re-formatted my post, please tell me if this is acceptable or not.

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Re: Ave Wintermist

Post  GeneralArin on Tue Mar 31, 2015 5:46 pm

No ice swords. No color changing hair. No seeing in the dark any more than a normal person. And certainly no glowing eyes.

Most of your personality is describing what happened to him and specific situations. While sure, that might be a decent part of your character, there's more to him (I'm assuming) than just what he experienced. What is he like on a normal day? The only independent statement on who he is as a person is "withdraws when stressed." Try to add more independent statements on who he is. You can keep the rest if it's really that important.

And then the fatal flaw is a fear, not really a personality detail.
Your "minor flaw"... no hair color changing. But the detail about him getting irritable when overheated or otherwise uncomfortable is a useful detail, because that's actually not a magical thing. Normal people can get snappy and irritable when uncomfortable. It doesn't really count as much of a flaw, unless it's to the extreme or a bit broader.
Anyway, here, we define Fatal Flaw as a major personality short coming. So how I normally find it is to take the most predominate feature of your character's personality (who they are by default, their basic reactions to everything.) and then stretch it to where it's a problem. For example, my character is a very determined and loyal character. So his fatal flaw is stubbornness, which causes him to not move on from a bad idea, a bad relationship, or even take a break from his projects to shower.

So maybe find a way to connect your phobia with your personality. Is it from a self-preservation standpoint? A cowardly standpoint? or what?
And what happens when those two interests come into conflict? What will your character do if someone close to him is going to die, but intervening would cause him to die? Which fear wins out? Why does it win out?
Maybe answering a few of those questions can help you make it a bit more cohesive and build your character a bit more.

I want to get to know him. Not just about him.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



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Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
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Re: Ave Wintermist

Post  Cerulaen on Wed Apr 01, 2015 1:17 pm

((I like how this time around, “bad relationship” was added into the list of things Jake stubbornly won’t turn away from... You make it sound like Ri is abusive or something. *cough*))

I’ve got a few notes.
1) You say he was found on the tundra when he was 9, implying he was living…in Antarctica…when her was younger than that. If you don’t have the right supplies, you die there after one night, and apparently all you have are books and a sword. Your kid is dead. I think you need to come up with a more believable background.
2) Unless you are blind with cataracts, your eyes cannot actually be white. I don’t care that you’re a demigod, being one doesn’t mean you have magically impossible eye and hair color. Only anime characters get that right. So…white eyes are a no.
3) Question…you say he was scarred by what happened to his father, but what exactly did happen to his father? What did these other researcher guys mistake his father for that was so horrible they just had to murder him? Again, I’m very big for being realistic. Just because this is an AU full of fiction and magic doesn’t mean things shouldn’t be realistic to the universe rules already set down, and in this case, things just don’t really make sense.
4) Just out of curiosity—how is his name pronounced? I’ve been trying to decide on the pronunciation ever since this app was submitted. o_o
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Re: Ave Wintermist

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