Kelly Nero

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Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Sat Apr 04, 2015 2:13 pm

Name: Kelly Nero

Age: 12

God Parent: Poseidon

Mortal Family: Elizabeth Nero. No siblings. No stepfather.

Years in Camp: Just arrived. No years spent yet.

History: Kelly was born at a very isolated place. The contact between people was very limited there and it was for a good reason. When Kelly's mother Elizabeth first dated, she didn't know that she was dating the sea god Poseidon until they found out that she was pregnant. It was then when Poseidon admitted who he really was and when she was told the dangers of her son or daughter being a child of one of the big 3. Being one of the extrenely overprotective parents, Elizabeth moved out to a place where there wouldn't be too many people. Nobody understood why Elizabeth chose to do this. She had a weirder way of thinking then most people which was hard to explain. She was born in a simple home meant to house 2-3 people somewhere in the woods. When Kelly was born, her mother took really good care of her and got help from Poseidon to help cloak Kelly's strong scent that so many monsters were attracted to. Growing up in the woods, Kelly grew pretty adventurous. Of course, her mom being protective, she would always go out with her. Her mom always seemed to have a worried look on her face and looked frantically in many directions a lot as if she was expecting which she was. However, her mom would allow her to do what she liked as long as she was next to her the whole time. Kelly spending time in the woods got to experience wildlife more then the normal person. Kelly obviously had to get homeschooled. Even though she had dyslexia, her mom found a way to easily teach her how to read and write that made sense to her brain. The time came when she was 12 that something would happen. She would be going out with her mom to the city to buy some supplies. The trip was about 30 minutes from her house to the city. It was going to be one of the regular days when she would go to the city, go to a store, have some people suspiciously eye her (which were actually monsters), her mom get nervous, and start shopping in the larger crowds (since all those smells would cloak Kelly's), and end the trip only to come back 2 weeks later to get some more things. But today, it would be different. A more powerful monster would be lurking by. Kelly would be walking next to her mom when some "guys" would be looking at her and start to walk over to her. Her mom gripped her hand tighter and started speed walking trying to act casual but at the same time trying to get out of the area quickly. The monster would start to pick up the pace too. She started talking to Kelly telling her something about a camp located right near a great pine tree. She said that the camp would protect her but Kelly didn't know from what yet. Once they were out of the huge crowd and away from the road and onto the field that lead up to the tree, they were already running. She looked back and saw a... cyclops behind her? She asked her mom what it was doing chasing them but she just told her to keep looking forwards and head to the camp. Kelly didn't know what happened to her mom. All she knew was that when she reached the tree she heard a roar and a scream and she didn't want to look back afraid of what she might see. She ran down the hill and to the camp. Scared of seeing her mother dead, somebody would check for her and she would get told that she did indeed die. Kelly was extremely distressed when she was given this news and still is (during the time of me RPing as Kelly.)

Physical Appearance: Kelly doesn't look like she has much muscle. She pretends to stand tall at 4'9. She's pretty thin and lean but don't let her appearance fool you. She is a pretty tough fighter and is incredibly fast especially for her age. All the times she's spent in the woods, climbing up trees, running away from monsters, and some more stuff has built up her strength and endurance. Kelly has fair skin and hasn't developed her full figure yet but you could tell that she is getting close. She has dark brown hair that she almost always has braided or in a pony tail. Her hair goes down to mid back or chest length. She has blue/green eyes.

Personality: Kelly is a sweet girl who does her best to help out all the people she can. She is also extremely loyal to all her friends. She has always been an adventurous girl who loves to explore everywhere she can. Kelly, unlike most demigods, loves to read. Not just in Greek which every demigod can read fluently but in English too. Her dyslexia only makes it a little harder to read but she learned to read with her dyslexia quite fluently. She likes to think of it as her own little language. She is quite intelligent. She's never had trouble paying attention in class because she wasn't one of those demigods with ADHD. Just dyslexia. She's not the most social person ever. She mostly keeps to herself but she won't completely avoid a conversation. Kelly does have many good sides to her personality but there are some bad ones too. Kelly does get really angry at people at times and she tends to yell harsh things at them. She doesn't engage in physical fights though (unless it's during training.) Kelly, what she doesn't like about her, lies too easily. She often lies to get out of trouble a lot like most kids do.

Fatal Flaw: A heroic heart. Kelly has always wanted to save as many people as she could. She never wanted anyone to die especially when she could have done something about it so she would try to save as many people as she could. This could lead to trouble though. Saving people would put her in very dangerous positions where it could very well cost her, her life.

Talents: Kelly is extremely talented at 2 weapons. A sword and the bow and arrows. She thought that she would be the daughter of Apollo because of her exceptional bow skills and so did most campers but when the trident glowed above her head that idea was thrown out the window. Her sword skills are pretty good too.

Weapons: Kelly has a celestial bronze sword and a bow with celestial bronze tipped arrows. Her celestial bronze sword was something that she picked out in the camp's weapons shed. It was usually filled with unwanted items but the sword she picked out, she couldn't tell why nobody wanted it. It felt very good in her hand. Not too light and not too heavy. The blade seemed pretty sharp and the balance was very good. Her bow was given to Kelly for her 11th birthday so it's still a pretty good fit for her.

Other: Kelly loves reading, swimming, the forest, the sea, and adventuring. Being a daughter of Poseidon, she has the ability to breathe underwater, talk to sea animals, and talk to horses. She can also control the water and heals whenever she touches it. Kelly is also double joined in her shoulders. She stays at Camp Half-Blood year round since her mother is dead and obviously can't live a normal life at school with her father. The rest of her family just seemed to never really stay in touch with her mother. They would get called saying that her mother died but knowing her family, they would never come to care for her. It was just that kind of family she had.


Last edited by Kelly Nero on Sun Apr 26, 2015 12:32 am; edited 10 times in total
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Kelly Nero

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Drachmae : 96
Join date : 2015-04-04
Age : 16
Location : Wherever my mind takes me

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Sat Apr 04, 2015 10:50 pm

Is now completed
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Kelly Nero

Posts : 34
Drachmae : 96
Join date : 2015-04-04
Age : 16
Location : Wherever my mind takes me

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Wed Apr 08, 2015 1:33 am

Bump?
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Kelly Nero

Posts : 34
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Join date : 2015-04-04
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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Axel The Bunny on Thu Apr 09, 2015 12:20 am

Sorry most of our staff are in college and rather busy

Anyways your history is alright but there are some plotholes though I would like some clarification on why exactly her mother would immediately suspect what she saw as a bad driver as a monster? How she knew to ask  Kelly. Percy's mother was in the know about this stuff because she could see through the mist, but according to those. Kelly's cannot, so she'd most likely not be in the know about demigods and monsters unless she has a  good reason to know, which you haven't brought up. Sorry but that just feels like a large plot hole in your history and Big 3 requiremments make me have to nitpick, we've set some big standards for those cabins. Another thing, how did the mom carry her to Camp, did they just live at nearby? because I am fairly sure even adrenaline from running from a monster has limits. Also a Chimera is a completely different monster from a manticore, pick one and stick with it please. unless they lived or shopped near camp i doubt they could just run all the way there like this, not to mention it sounds incredibly similar to Percy's background.

Personality: Can you give me more about who they are as a person? So far I'm getting Friendly, intelligent, loyal, and anti-social  Also not all personality traits are good, everyone has their faults and im not seeing many being shown in this..

Fatal Flaw: Your description does not really match the personality or loyalty. It sounds to me more  like a hero complex rather than loyalty.

Talents: This might be just me but your charrie is a bit too talented. I mean let's see intelligent, good swordsman, good with a bow, good healer. PPlus you mention her being fast and having great endurance and strength in other sections. Sorry but im gonna have to ask you to tone it down. I don't have a problem with any one individual thing, just try to tone them down.

Weapons: I don';t like the infinite ammo bow, because that is simply unfair to others and frankly would give an unfair combat edge to you. No infinite ammo cheat, maybe if the arrows simply returned to the quiver after a set period of time.

Sorry about the nitpicking, but big 3 has high standards, if you really want it then prove it  by fixing all this stuffs.


Last edited by Axel The Bunny on Thu Apr 09, 2015 12:49 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : n)
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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:39 pm

I didn't even know why I had a chimera in there o.o

I'm sorry, this is my first Percy Jackson RP and I got excited xD

Should be all fixed now
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Kelly Nero

Posts : 34
Drachmae : 96
Join date : 2015-04-04
Age : 16
Location : Wherever my mind takes me

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Andrew Andreli on Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:38 am

Yeah. Okay, so I know I'm not a staffer. I know I shouldn't post here. Lecture me later.

So, I honestly love you. I love your character and the way you add voice into the bio even when it's a third person. There are a few grammatical errors ("big 3" should be capitalized, I think), but those are easy fixes--and, while having good grammar and English are nice, they aren't really required. (You should've seen [Axel's bio when he first joined. I swear I almost died. (No offense, Axe.)] But, yeah, it looks like the content is spot-on, so there's nothing to critique there.

Now, onto the character herself, she's amazing. She doesn't seem to perfect, but also not to imperfect. Now, there could be a problem with her fatal flaw, as the site has several characters with a "heroic heart" (as you put it). As Jake (one of the staffers) said on  the template a bit ago, it's good several of the people have that flaw, because this camp is training future heroes, but it's such an overdone flaw. I might change that if I were you, but hardly anyone's on anymore, so you should be good. (But keep in mind the staffers may overrule my thinking on this matter. Of course, they'll probably disregard this entire post, or go on a negative side and chastise me for posting here.)

And I think that's all I had to critique personally. As I stated before, you might change a few things about it, maybe tweak small things such as the flaw, etc., but other than that I think you're good. Now, because I'm just a camper, I can't approve you officially. But, know that if I had the power to do so, I most certainly would, seeing as you edited this 9 times total and have it spot on currently. Very Happy

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  GeneralArin on Mon Apr 20, 2015 6:05 pm

Okay, yeah Andre, still aren't technically supposed to reply to apps, but since you knew that that's as much yelling as I'll do.

Sorry for the long lag in replies, I have been bogged down by a lot of school work and haven't really been able to do much.
So overall, it looks like a pretty good app.
The 'heroic heart' is fine to me, since it seems like things like "caring" is a crucial part of your personality, so it's well integrated in this case. Most of the other ones tend to have this shoved on, which doesn't really work and usually feels rather disjointed from the rest of the character.

I can't think of more tweeks off hand, and I'm kinda rushing through the critique, but I'll push you through.
So one more staff member just needs to check you off.

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Tue Apr 21, 2015 3:45 pm

Can you clarify what you meant for the disjointed or shoved on things please?
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Kelly Nero

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  GeneralArin on Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:33 am

I mean like where, in this case with the fatal flaw, their personality and fatal flaw don't mesh well or are completely unrelated. But it felt like it went together well in your case, so you're good.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



NPCs
Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Cerulaen on Sat Apr 25, 2015 2:29 pm

Okay, finally looking at apps myself... Also guilty of being ridiculously busy with school.

Anyways, I think everyone looks good, my only real nitpick is that Kelly doesn't seem to be affected much by the death of her mother. And really, if her mother is literally the only person she's ever really known--I saw no mention of friends, no mention of anyone else in her history that was important to her--then I imagine she'd be pretty affected by her no longer being there. I mean, just think, her mother and her must have had a really close relationship, since that was the only person Kelly was ever around on a regular basis. I mean, unless she found her mother annoying because she was being over-protective or something, but even with that, I'd say losing her would hit her a lot harder than it appears to have.

So just fix that, and I think you'll be good.
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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Sun Apr 26, 2015 12:33 am

When I start RPing, it's going to be right after Kelly was told her mom died (since she didn't want to see for herself). I thought that would be implied since it said that she just arrived under "years at camp". But i fixed it if you really wanted that put in there.
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Kelly Nero

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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Cerulaen on Sun Apr 26, 2015 3:16 am

Ohhhhhh. Okay yeah, that's my bad. Thanks for adding to it anyway, though.

You're all set, then. Approved. Welcome to the site!
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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Kelly Nero on Sun Apr 26, 2015 10:51 am

Thanks! And um, since i'm approved, should I be moved to the campers group or is there other steps or something?
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Kelly Nero

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Age : 16
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Re: Kelly Nero

Post  Cerulaen on Sun Apr 26, 2015 12:55 pm

Haha yes you will be, no worries we'll do it some time today. Feel free to RP whether you have been or not, though, we all know you're approved.
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