Half-Blood Vengeance
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{ love } Bella Watson { is everything ]

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Post  Lady of the Doves Tue Apr 21, 2015 9:28 am

//APPLICATION

N A M E
Bella Watson
( lit. Ruler of Beauty )

A G E
16

G O D L Y  // P A R E N T
Aphrodite

M O R T A L // R E L A T I V E S

  • Blake Richmond // F A T H E R
  • Tus'ol Teare // G R A N D M O T H E R

Y E A R S // O F // S E R V I C E
3

H I S T O R Y
Long, long ago, before Bella lived, it is believed that Zeus had created man.
"Eternity is there.

Your kingdom come,
laying still like blank canvas.

Rush forth, create.
The world trembles under
the thunder in the skies.
Him alone maketh man.
"


Long before that, Aphrodite was born.
"And so emerged a deity from the sea-foam,
As beautiful as she is,
Circled with a typhoon of doves,
the one called Aphrodite.
"


-------

Life hasn't been too pleasant for Bella Watson, a 12 year old attending an all-girls private high school. Studying was particularly hard for her with the dyslexia she's 'acquired' since birth. Doctors say it's because of the ADHD she has. They say her eyes cannot stop moving, which explains the blurriness. But Bella knew better. It wasn't her ADHD that caused dyslexia, but it was because of something else. . something about her understanding other languages better. Like ancient Greek. Or French. Yeah. Bella has always been good with those, for reasons unknown.

But what choice did Bella have? Her father was the CEO of an extremely famous media & entertainment company. That alone took all of Bella's time with her dad away. It didn't help that her mother left her a month after which she was born. She always felt lonely; sad that both of her parents, in a way, never cared for her.

Bella, despite her dyslexia, knew better than to give up on her studies. She still worked hard at school, excelling on numerous subjects that didn't rely on 'reading', 'words', like art, music, numerical math, experimental science, sports-- you get the idea. Winning numerous competitions, her father, despite his busy schedule, was proud of Bella. But he didn't express it clearly. Bella didn't know what he was trying to convey. She resented herself for failing to get her father's attention.

On February the 14th, the day of Love, three years prior the events that are transpiring now, Bella Celebrated her 13th birthday. Her birthdays were usually. . less happy and touching compared to her friends' birthdays. But on this particular day, her father gave her a very special gift; a hairpin, decorated with diamond-crafted lotuses. She came to treasure this item very much, as it is, in essence, the only special present that she has ever received from her father.

The next day, she was in a desperate situation. One of her maids turned out to be a monster, and attacked Bella, trying to get the 'Lotus Hairpin'. It was as if the ornament was something really special. . But even if it was something special, Bella didn't care. She only protected it with the cost of her life only because it was a gift from his father. She didn't want it to, just like the time with her dad, be taken away from her. She cherished it as much as she cherished her father, despite the fact that she'd only get it the other day.

She escaped out of her mansion. . To no avail, of course. The 'Maid Monster', with wings of a bird's, nails resembling tiger's teeth, chased her all around New York. Luckily, during her grand escape, a centaur, normal humans-- except for the part that they had feet resembling a horse's-- saved her. The centaur didn't really freak Bella out, as she has always had an interest in Greek mythology. She wouldn't forgive herself if they were just made up, silly things. Instead, she was amazed of the centaur. He stood so bravely, fending off the harpy while guiding Bella to a place at the same time.

The harpy eventually gave up trying to steal the lotus hairpin, tired. Bella was surprised when both the Centaur and her stopped in front of a place, decorated with the sign 'Camp Half-Blood'. What did this exactly mean? She didn't know. But Bella wasn't afraid to ask.

"Brave centaur, what does this sign mean?"
"It means that you are a special person, my dear. On occasions, when Gods traverse on the human world, they fall in love with a human. Afterwards, well, long story cut short, demi-gods are brought to life. Half-human, half-mortal."
". .As if I'd believe that.
But you're a centaur. If you are speaking the truth, then, who's my mother?"
"Let's see. .
.
.
.
.
To be honest, I do not know."
"Very helpful.
I thank you from the deepest part of my heart."
"I'm sorry. . Your mother should claim you soon though. . You're about 12, right?"
"13."
"Right. At any rate, you should get in. Maybe your mom will react."

She went in, still fazed to all that's happened on that day. But for the most part, Bella was concerned for her father. For all she knew, he would be on the streets, sticking pamphlets probably reading
'MISSING IN ACTION:
BELLA WATSON

Super pretty girl, sadly I have no time for her, but I love her anyway.

Please report to the super-rich CEO of the Company you all know about, Blake Richmond. Those who find her will get a special reward.'

P.S. : She's super important, there's a secret I haven't talked to her about yet! It's really important but I can't say it to my daughter!

Bella could almost think of the portrait embedded in the pamphlets. Ugh.
Maybe her father was inside the police station, demanding policemen to find his lost daughter. Or he would still be at work, unaware of her disappearance. She hoped he understand. But most people wouldn't, especially if their daughter were to mysteriously disappear.

//NEXT DAY\\
-------

Bella woke up, terrified. In her dream, she'd see something horrible, really horrible. It wasn't something she would share to random mofos like the centaur she'd met the other day, and since the incident yesterday, she'd learn better than to trust maids. Bella's vision was still blurry, the dream repeating over and over. She wasn't feeling too pleasant. And then the image returned, slowly, but surely. She focused on the thing on top of her, and the view of a ceiling came to her sights. The ceilings were white, and so were her surroundings. White bed, white blanket, white pillows-- white everything. She was, after all, sleeping in a tent in Camp Half-Blood, a place where she was kind-of-forcefully brought by a random centaur. Wasn't the best moment of the dark haired girl's life, but hey.

The centaur also said that Bella was part-human, part-god. At first, she didn't believe that. But what she just witnessed the other day. . Monsters running about in the city, humans walking past through them, and there's that half-horse guy. Well, let's just say Bella partly accepted the fact that she was, in fact, a demigod. Her mother's origin, whereabouts, and name is still unknown, making Bella a little bit anxious. She'd remember how her father used to say how cunningly beautiful her mother was; and how Bella inherited her mother's beauty. Apart from that, well, Bella didn't know the first thing about her mom.

The now 13-year old girl left the tent, fully energised. She was, you could say, ready for the obstacles to come. Even though Bella was still unclaimed, she tried her best to not let the campers down. She'd help to cook ( which she is really got at ), cleaning the place, so much more. Bella was a kind-hearted person. She was warm, and easygoing.

-------

It's been a year since Bella Watson arrived to Camp Half-Blood. So many things have happened during the past year, like Bella getting claimed by Aphrodite-- a fact that she was mostly ashamed about. Bella hated the goddess for leaving her father shortly after her birth, but she knew that Aphrodite had to leave the family. A god couldn't possibly become attached to the human word, moreover a human. That's what Mr. D told her, anyways. It didn't make her feel better, but Bella understood that Aphrodite had made a heavy sacrifice. No sane mother would leave their child so easily. Well, at least Aphrodite stayed for a month.

Bella Watson, the daughter of Aphrodite, was still confused. She had a dream the other year; a very disturbing one. And she, after getting claimed, had to know what it meant. She'd undergo a 'quest' to fetch Mr. D the best grapes that ever existed. Of course, Bella's real quest was to go to the place of her dreams. After a day of grape-hunting, Bella headed to Las Vegas, the place where the events in her dreams had transpired.

Bella saw a massive golden building, just waiting to be entered. Somewhere around the building, there would be golden letters smushed upon each other, forming two words that were separated with only a slight space. The sign read 'Lotus Casino'. Totally not a good sign. Why exactly did Bella have to go to this place?

February the 15th, only last year. What Bella had dreamed about wasn't pleasant. Voices that overlapped each other spoke in such unison that Bella's ears almost popped.
"FiNd YoUr TrUe SeLf. . MoRtAL. . fOr YoU dEsErVe ThE tRuTh. ."
And then the voices stopped. Her vision shifted. She saw the very hotel that she's standing in front of now, and her dreams faded. She woke up, trying to process what she dreamt about. Well, it did not go well.

Whatever the dream was about, one thing was clear, Bella had to enter the not-so-friendly building. And she did. The insides of the building were amazing. The wall was mostly translucent; some painted on with a slight touch of gold. Some areas were decorated with neon walls and floors, depicting a disco studio, complete with a disco ball. For the most part, Bella was amazed.

Shortly after her arrival, the 6-foot tall girl was offered a 'Lotus Snack', but she had this urge to decline the offer. After all, eating the lotus would be as if she ate her own hairpin's decoration. Too weird for a rich girl's tastes. But what Bella didn't know was, Aphrodite shielded her. She'd warn Bella, even without speaking to her. The 'urge' was Aphrodite's doing. Ah, a mother's love. How beautiful.

Venturing deep through the casino, she saw an old figure, draped with black. From top to toe, this woman was wearing black. Black hat, glasses, dress, socks, shoes-- you name it. Any normal person would avoid the woman. Not Bella, though. She immediately recognized who the woman was. . Her own grandmother, Tus'ol Teare. The woman spoke with a gentle demeanor and a slightly out-of-date accent. Bella had always loved her grandmother. She'd gotten Bella anything she ever wanted, from Barbie dolls to an iPhone, from Pizza to Premium Wagyu Beef. What surprised her wasn't the encounter with granny Tus'ol. It was the thing she said, something about the Lotus-Eaters being her ancestor.

"Tus'ol Teare is simply an anagram, child. I'm sure that by now, you have figured it out."
"Lotus. . Eater?"

Bella couldn't believe what she was saying. Her grandmother had been a descendant of an evil trap, and it is evident that Blake Richmond, Bella's father, hadn't been informed of his mother's true family line. He was, once again, clueless about his family. Tus'ol said one more thing to Bella; how the hairpin she holds may be the key to saving her life in times of danger.

"Use your mother's power with the family heirloom. It will help you in times of need."
"Mother's. . power? Family heirloom?"

Granny Tus'ol nodded, but she didn't respond back. Bella knew the reason why. The Fates were watching. No outsider were to mess with Bella's life. She had to figure it out for herself. And one day. . One disastrous day. . Bella found out the truth of her ancestry, as well as the mysterious 'mom power' that she didn't know for years.

-------

When Bella Watson went outside the door, a year had passed in the mortal world. No wonder being in there seemed to long. . Even with Aphrodite's divine intervention, Tus'ol Teare's magic was too strong; should Aphrodite not intervene at all, Bella wouldn't be able to get out. Bella was lucky, yet again. But her luck only stayed so long. .

Bella realized that a year has passed, and tried to get back to Camp Half-blood, but the way there was filled with monsters. She'd defeat the minor monsters using the dagger that she received when Aphrodite claimed her, the dagger named Katoptris. But the stronger monsters were. . a problem, you might say. They were overpowering Bella so much that she couldn't pass through the 'usual' way. She had to find another route to the darned camp.

Being unusually smart, Bella found another route in a matter of hours. This was a great achievement; as she was able to find out the path where there were little to no strong monsters at all. But before the final turn to Camp Half-Blood, a minotaur, about 9-feet tall, stood before Bella. He was hungry for blood, judging by its red eyes, bloody horns, and ugh, that disgusting stench. Bella decided to break for a run.

"Déjà vu."

Only last year, she remembered, that she was running from a harpy. Now she was running from a 9-feet tall minotaur, which was not a good omen. What, are the gods going to send a giant thrice the tall of this cow-monster next? Bella wasn't sure. But this time, she decided, that for once, she would stop running and fight the beast.

-------

. .Probably not the best choice Bella's ever made in her life, since her body is heavily injured, shortly after her encounter with the disgusting cow monster. The minotaur was about to strike the last blow to Bella, when she remembered what her grandmother told her during their previous encounter, playing in her brain, over and over.

"Use your mother's power with the family heirloom.
Use your mother's power with the family heirloom.
Use your mother's power with the family heirloom.
Use your mother's power with the family heirloom."
"It will protect you in times of need."

Bella thought that this was a time of need, since she was about to be killed by a smelly cow monster. Bella did NOT want to end her life that way. She grabbed her hairpin and threw it to the Minotaur, to no avail, of course. Now that Bella's figured the family heirloom, she just has to figure the hairpin's uses. And did I mention she still has to know what her mother's power is?

Despite her heavy injuries, Bella ran for the hairpin, grabbing it tightly. She didn't want to lose the special hairpin that she'd gotten from her father on her 13th birthday. Nope. Not happening. Bella thought carefully. She thought about what the lotus-eaters did in the past. She thought about the encounter with Granny Tus'ol.

They were experts in making people sleep. In making people forget time. That was done by making the victim eat the lotus. But this lotus was made of diamonds. . How exactly would she break it? For one, diamond is the strongest material, scientific-wise, and for two, this was a gift from her father. She didn't dare to destroy it.

But desperate situations called for desperate measures. She had to break one of the 8 lotuses, no matter what.

"BREAK, DANG IT!"

Weirdly, right after Bella said that, one of the 8 lotuses broke. It glowed with the color pink shortly after its removal, and Bella threw it right at the Minotaur's mouth. The half-man, half-cow monster was 'put to sleep', rendering it useless for at least another year. This was Bella's ancestral power. And the part where she said 'Break', and the hairpin broke? She talked about it with Mr. D, and he said that she possessed a latent ability concerning 'Charmspeak', an ability that was very rare, and very powerful.

During her next two years of service, Bella got stronger.

A mortal child of Aphrodite,
Descendant of the lotus eaters,
An adult that was once a child,
A warrior that was once a clown,
Bella Watson.


( Sorry if it seems rushed or too short, will revamp it if I get the chance! I still hope it's okay though-- )

P H Y S I C A L // A P P E A R A N C E
Standing at 6 foot tall, the person standing in front of you has dark hair. With a fair complexion, she has this. . regal-y aura around her, that would fend off most laid back people. Most. Her usual attire is that of the usual orange Camp Half-Blood T-Shirts, and a pair of blue jeans. A lotus-decorated hairpin made of diamonds is also visible on her hair, adding to the 'regal-y aura' that she has. Other than that, when you converse with this girl, you will, sooner or later, notice that she usually speaks with a calm and neutral tone.

P E R S O N A L I T Y
A smart, graceful, athletically-talented girl. Cool if not chilly, her personality even can even be seen in her posture. Distant at times, but once you get to know her, she's a sweet cupcake. Bella is lighthearted, meaning she can be very cheerful at times. Her lighthearted mood is almost always covered with a cold demeanor. It's certainly not easy to tell what Bella is feeling, but if you know her well, it is actually very easy to tell what Bella is feeling. Bella is smart, and she can use her intel as a weapon to enemies, may they be dumb, or even smarter than her. Gracefully gliding through the enemies, taking each one down,

The Aphrodite Camper, Bella.

Bella Watson isn't as fragile as she looks like. Her physical body is nothing to be ashamed of, being extremely flexible for someone her age. The 6-foot tall girl always stands at such a composure that describes her the best-- calm and collected. She always manages to keep herself 'cool', you could say, in every situation. Near Death? OK. Hunger? OK. Drought? OK. She has a soft spot for guys, not having interacted with them before, as she attends an all-girls high school. It is unknown whether, after her three years in camp, if she likes guys or not. But around guys, Bella is usually a better person. Caring for each and eveyone,

Lady of the Doves, Bella.

Bella's personality-- after the meeting with her grandmother-- changed. At not necessarily for the better. Because of her lineage, she tries not to open up so much about herself. This may lead to awkward situations and conversations, but she must keep it that way to protect herself from, well, 'shame'. Bella has always hated shame. She wanted everything and -everything- to be perfect. . To conduct something however she wishes. To have everything suit her tastes. But that personality is so 15. She's hidden this personality of hers, though not completely. A lotus-eater's descendant,

The Lullaby, Bella.

Trust is always the problem with this particular Aphrodite camper. Since the 'disaster' with her last monster-maid, she'd grow to trust no one, though she does not show this directly in her face. That would be an act, by far too foolish; People can't survive alone. They need each other no matter what, and Bella is aware of this fact. For people that she really trusts, Bella shows a great deal of love towards them; mostly more than they could ever deserve. But to those that still haven't earned her trust, well, she doesn't treat them as well. As agile as a dove, as caring as a nurse,

Bella Watson.

F A T A L // F L A W

  • Rash
    Since a young age, Bella has been a rash person. Though calm and collected, her rash judgement and actions tend to make her life almost always in danger.
  • Moody
    Easily provoked, Bella has 'mental problems', you could say. She's not crazy, but gets mad easily. At times, anyways. She's almost always cool.
  • Trust Issues
    Since the incident with her maid, Bella has a somewhat more wary attitude towards people. After all, no sane girl would want their trusted friend turning into a monster.

N A T U R A L // T A L E N T S

  • Cook
    Bella has performed incredible feats in cooking; since her time at school, she has always been an ace at cooking. In fact, she cooked for the camp during her first year there.
  • Athletic
    Bella's physical body is highly flexible, and almost insucceptible to fatigue, meaning she can run incredible distances, or do outstanding long jumps that normal people wouldn't be able to perform.
  • Charmspeak
    Bella may not have utilized this ability at all during her first stages as a child; but in fact, she has a latent ability for charmspeak, just waiting to get harvested. After two years of outward training, Bella can control her power very well, only using it when she wants to, or using it in times of danger.
  • Languages
    Easily fluent in both Ancient Greek and French, there's no stopping Bella if she wants to learn another. It's just a matter of months till she masters Latin.
  • Swordplay
    Bella is talented in the art of swordplay, even if just a little. She is able to perform incredible maneuvers and attacks combining both her flexible physical body and swordplay skills. Combined with her charmspeak, Bella is easily one of the strongest Aphrodite campers of all time.

P A R A P H E R N A L I A
W E A P O N S // I T E M S


  • Lotus Hairpin
    A lotus decorated ornament that she'd acquired from her father. After Bella's meeting with her grandma, it is revealed that the 8 lotuses made of diamond signify her ancestry to the Lotus-eaters. This weapon also has other uses, such as making people sleep, by breaking one of the flowers and focusing who the user wants to use it on. Bella's grandma said that many before her tried to use the hairpin and failed, but with 'her mother's power', Bella would be able to use it well. ( 7 Uses Remaining )
  • Katoptris
    A simple celestial bronze knife that seems to have lost any special abilities. Its only distinctive feature is that, the blade can very well be used for a mirror, due to its outstanding light-reflection abilities. It is said that, once, Piper McLean, one of the 7 demigods who saved the world, used this dagger. It is also said that once, this weapon had the power to foresee the future. But is the story real? Is this the real dagger used by Piper McLean? No one knows.


I finally finished. Thank you for reading.


Last edited by Lady of the Doves on Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:02 am; edited 39 times in total
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Post  GeneralArin Tue Apr 21, 2015 12:38 pm

Well, I can see that you aren't done yet, but could you tone down the formatting?
Because half a column and double spaced doesn't really do anything but make it harder to read.

And for the sake of keeping things easier to find and refer to, could you follow our application layout?
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Post  Lady of the Doves Wed Apr 22, 2015 2:20 am

GeneralArin wrote:Well, I can see that you aren't done yet, but could you tone down the formatting?
Because half a column and double spaced doesn't really do anything but make it harder to read.

And for the sake of keeping things easier to find and refer to, could you follow our application layout?

My bad, I was doing it on fricken notepad!
Fixed! Is it okay now?

EDIT : Another reason why I formatted it was because to be honest, I find the 'Papyrus' font not really pleasant to the eyes. .
Also, I finished the app! Mind checking it, admuns?
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Post  Cerulaen Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:23 pm

Okay, finally getting to this humongous app.

There's going to be a lot of "no's" here, because your character is a huge Mary Sue. It happens to a lot of new RPers who don't have in mind that RPing is about everyone, and this can't be a story about how amazing your particular character is--because you're not the main character, everyone is. So bear with me.

- Your character cannot have her own quest unless approved by admins. And we don't approve of this one. Partially/mainly because:
- Your character cannot have their own super-special lineage that makes them stand out from everyone else. Having a thing for lotuses is all well and good, but none of this 'Lotus eater' stuff.
- Your character cannot have charmspeak. It's extremely rare, there's already a character on this site who has it, and you have too many talents already.
- You cannot have Katoptris. We don't allow people to have weapons or any other belongings that once belonged to the 7 in this RP--especially since we don't like to mention the 7 at all.
- You cannot have 3 Fatal Flaws. The point of a FF is that it's one personality trait that dominates all your other traits and its the reason guiding most of your life decisions. To me, your 'rash' one seemed to fit your character the best.
- Besides this one Fatal Flaw, your character did not appear to have any flaws whatsoever besides "closed off," which only happened because A) she got attacked by a monster, which I'll remind you happens to every demigod on a regular basis, and B) because you were being all closed off about your super-special lineage (which, again, has at this point been vetoed). Your character is literally perfectly perfect in every way. And since Bella is not Mary Poppins, that needs to change.
- Part of the reason for this perfect character might be because of her perfect background. Okay, so her daddy doesn't pay as much attention to her as he should--she has literally everything else besides that. I'm not saying your background needs to be wrought with terrible things that happen to Bella, but her history just leaves her feeling very flat and two-dimensional.
- "Bella is talented in the art of swordplay, even if just a little." <-- And then you go on to say that she is amazing and can beat almost literally everyone. Your character's been here for 3 years, so yes, she'll probably be better at swordplay than pretty much all the noobs. But that's no reason for her to be a sword fighting wonder.
- You cannot "speak fluent Latin," as it is a lost language. Besides that, you already speak fluent French and Greek, so there's really no need for more language, along with all your other talents.

I need you to take out all this "I'm amazing at everything" fluff and really strip this character down to her bare bones and who she is. Take out all the embellishments and show me who she is. I want to really know your character--not some perfect girl that's a star. You have a serious case of what we call "Starring Character Syndrome," where you want your character to be special and be the main character and everything's about her. That's all well and good for a fanfic, but for RPing, things don't really roll that way. I would suggest taking everything out I already mentioned, and then going and taking a the Mary Sue Litmus test to really see how much of a Mary Sue your character is. Once you've changed all that, we'll take another look and see what we've got.

Just as a note, no worries on your history being "too short or rushed." Yours was a novel. xP
Another note: I like your graphic signature. Nice job.
Mary Sue Test: http://katfeete.net/writing/suestart.php


Last edited by Cerulaen on Tue Apr 28, 2015 12:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Lady of the Doves Tue Apr 28, 2015 10:49 am

Thanks for checking and replying!
Well, this is my first attempt, so I guess I have a lot to learn. Um, I don't know if I took the test wrong, but I got this as a result, after taking the test:
'Bella Watson is only a little like you. She may be popular, or she may not, but no matter what she's impossible to ignore; she stands out... just the way you always wanted to. She may have sometimes thought that she was special, or destined for greater things, but probably dismissed the idea as a fantasy. She's got no emotional scars to speak of. And you've been sparing with the free handouts: whatever she gains, she's worked for.

In general, you care deeply about Bella Watson, but you're smart enough to let her stand on her own, without burdening her with your personal fantasies or propping her up with idealization and over-dramatization. Bella Watson is a healthy character with a promising career ahead of her. '

And well, this is my first attempt trying to roleplay, and I thought Charmspeak was cool, so. . I automatically went 'I-want- Charmspeak' mode, even if I knew that Daquiri already has it xD. At any rate, I'll try and either
A) Throw her away, or
B) Erase some parts, which wouldn't be as fun, but I shouldn't be bothering you about myself. .

Thanks for checking, and have a pleasant day!
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Post  Cerulaen Tue Apr 28, 2015 12:36 pm

Before I forget again, I just have to say that I've seen your avatar picture on Pinterest, and just the other day almost right before you submitted your app, someone on Twitter with the same picture as their profile pic started following me...and I thought it was a weird coincidence.

Or at least, I assume it's a coincidence.

Anyways. The staff and I were messing around with the MS test after I posted that, and found that no, it wasn't one of the more accurate ones, lol. The one I'd been looking for that's much more accurate I found later on. While MS tests aren't word of law, since it also depends greatly on the writer's skill of writing the character and keeping them in character, they're usually pretty helpful for testing OPness of a character. My and the staff's problem with Bella is that she just has too much "specialness," for lack of a better [legitimate] word and it seems like you're just trying to make her stand out as much as possible. We all understand the want for our characters to be special and stand out from everyone, but they don't have to have any powers at all to do that. One of our staff was pointing out that his character doesn't have any powers or special past or anything period, but his character is extremely unique because of his personality (he's basically the camp a-hole) and the way he interacts with other characters. We're not saying powers are a bad thing, but you shouldn't see them normally as something that is just tacked on because they're "cool" (as I've seen you've done your homework and found that yes, Daquiri is the one on here with Charmspeak, you should know I didn't give it to her just because I liked the power--it's actually largely a part of her personality).

With all that being said, I'll address your choices: while of course we can't stop you from scrapping this character and making a whole new one, we don't normally recommend or encourage just throwing a character that's been made away. When you first create a character they're not going to come out perfect the first time, you just gotta keep working on them until they kind of grow into themselves. I think Bella has potential for a good character, you just need to take fluff out and develop her more. Before you try to add on any extra special qualities to her, try deciding on one of these things first: history, personality, or FF. Once you've decided on that, build the rest of the character around it and make sure it all correlates together. As you've already submitted Bella as an older camper, and we don't have one at the moment, I might offer up the suggestion that she could become Aphrodite cabin counselor. Even though I've been on this site for a while, Ri is still a generally new camper, so she of course isn't counselor, and our old one went inactive a long time ago.

If you would really rather create a new character I'll respect that, but I'd really like to see you work with what you already have and try to make Bella a stronger character.
Cerulaen
Cerulaen
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Posts : 1367
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Join date : 2013-06-24
Age : 26
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