Kira Dvorzak

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Kira Dvorzak

Post  Miranda on Tue May 05, 2015 3:52 am

Name: Kira Dvorzak

Age: 14

God Parent: Hades

Mortal Family: Mother: Yuura Shinata (deceased), Step-father: Leopold Dvorzak (deceased)

Years in Camp: 0 (Newcomer)

History:
Shortly after giving birth to Kira in France, Yuura Shinata, a world-renowned Japanese model, re-married to the musical genius Leopold Dvorzak, and immediately began accompanying him on his international tours. Abandoned at home, Kira spent most of her waking hours in the nearby library, Charleville-Mézières Public Library, in Charleville-Mézières. During her early years, Kira was an avid reader, and devoured information from all sorts of books that she came across. In fact, she knew little of the real world besides the knowledge that she gleaned from its books - in this manner, her photographic memory suited her well. By the age of six, Kira knew more about the library and its catalog than some of the librarians themselves.    
One night, Kira returned home from the library to find her drunken step-father, Dvorzak, strangling Yuura in his red-faced fury. Perhaps it was the shock or the fear, or the oddness of it all, but Kira’s mind processes almost froze as she blanked out in confusion.  When she came to, Dvorzak was lying on the ground, with his neck twisted in an odd position. As the young girl stood there, calmly, numbly gazing down at her stepfather’s body, Yuura gaped in disbelief. Then, the anger registered in her sunken eyes. “Things, they came, out from the ground…! You, you brought them here, didn’t you? Those bones, the shadows… you monster!!” Yuura screamed and clawed at her daughter’s throat, and Kira saw only white as her eyelids thudded closed in exhaustion.
Hours later, Kira awoke to the sight of her parents’ bodies mangled beside her. While she had lost consciousness, her mother appeared to have been strangled to death by forces Kira instinctively knew she herself had summoned. With no home, family, or money, she wandered out into the streets. When an international mercenary syndicate found her starving in the sewers and reached out to her for recruitment, Kira accepted gratefully, and began working as an unofficial assassin at the age of seven. Through each request, the young girl honed her skills for murder by training alongside her senior, Andre Fersen, and participating in assassinations. Kira had long since bloodied her hands, and when the monsters began appearing around her, she dealt with them like usual business, using the dagger that the group had allotted to her. She cared not whether they were human or beast: she would slice through the troubles that dragged her down.
However, after six years of hard work and murder, Kira was abandoned by Andre and the syndicate on a job in America to take down the head of the FBI. Stuck in the middle of what seemed to be Long Island, Kira then noticed a group of monsters trailing two young girls and one teenage boy into what looked like a very bizarre camp with cabins of assorted colors. As she walked closer to observe the situation, the boy (who seemed to have goat horns) suddenly called out to her from afar. In confusion and alarm, Kira was about to slaughter them all (monsters and humans alike), when she felt herself tumbling past the protective barrier of what she would later learn was Camp Half-Blood. As she stood dumbstruck in what appeared to be an entirely separate dimension from the outside world, a flickering helmet shone over her head. The people around her stared, and someone murmured, “That’s a daughter of Hades…”

Physical Appearance:
Kira is a Japanese-Bohemian-Greek hybrid, with wide, olive-green eyes that slant upwards. She has a rather tanned complexion, and a smart shoulder-length cut of straight black hair. When possible, Kira dresses in darker colors of the most convenient garments she can find. She is very fit, with a slight muscular build, and has long, toned legs. However, Kira’s facial and physical beauty are often overshadowed by the cold light that often glimmers in her eyes.

Personality:
Kira is a lone wolf who reeks of arrogance; when not ignoring them altogether, she often looks down upon those around her at Camp Half-Blood. In regards to her albeit unintentional murder of Yuura and Leopold, she is more grateful than guilty, as this event jump-started her path to survival and success. Kira refrains from openly expressing her love for fighting and murder, because she feels that doing so will reduce her to the likes of a rabid animal. Yet, at her essence, Kira is a raging flame that devastates all in her path. Underneath her mask of calculations and regalty burns a desire and enjoyment for orchestrated conflict, bloodshed and death.
However, this side of Kira can only be seen in the darkest of darkest moments, or perhaps by the gates of Tartarus themselves. At Camp Half-Blood, Kira is but a cold and detached girl who seems impossible to approach. Though hot-blooded underneath her surface, she is the epitome of powerful, distant cruelty.
Yet despite her abilities, Kira is secretly unsure. Of her superior strength, and of the lives that have been sacrificed for its gathering. However, when faced with battle, Kira swiftly abandons her worries in exchange for enjoyment and thrill. Despite her own misgivings, the young girl cannot help but embrace the white roses dyed red in savagery, struggle, and thirst. Yes, she cannot help - but bloody them further.

Fatal Flaw:
Kira’s fatal flaw is her pride in her own existence. This pride prevents her from potentially connecting with others or working as a team, and constantly isolates her from the rest of CHB. It dictates that she must be alone and above her peers, and creates both a shell for her desires and a cage for her person. This pride may also force Kira into an extremely disadvantageous battle position, and/or negatively affect her mental well-being.

Talents:
Kira is extremely adept at close-range fighting and everything that has to do with on-scene  and stealth assassination. She is well-trained in physical combat, but does not last long in continuous battle. Due to her extensive knowledge base, Kira is also well-informed about most poisons and other forms of scientific warfare, and is one of the most strategically and intelligently gifted newcomers at CHB.
On the other hand, Kira knows practically nothing in regards to the “shadows” that surround her at times. She eyes them in wary gratitude, for having stepped in for her on that fateful day of her parents’ deaths. However, she is unable to call on them at will and has thus deemed them unsuitable for battle. Of course, she is not and never has been afraid of these powers.

Weapons:
Kira later fights with a sleek, curved blade of Celestial Bronze, which she summons at will. It measures around the length of her forearm, and is the color of black velvet. When Kira was claimed by Hades (which happened right after she entered Camp Half-Blood), the blade appeared above her, poised in the beheading position. In fact, Kira would not have been able to deflect its blow had it not been for Chiron, who shot it aside from afar. However, when Chiron had a closer look at Kira’s blade, his face grew pale and he said no more to her than the following words:
“Choose. Me or pizza. Come on, you got this.”
(Kira chose Chiron, of course. But only because she didn’t want to deal with a smelly centaur aiming for her head.)
However, Kira’s blade remains a mystery to this day. All that she knows about it has been gathered from experience and instinct, which includes that it grows sharper and darker after each battle. Chiron seems as though he knows something, but neither Kira nor Chiron are willing to approach each other and talk about it.

Other:
Kira has only an average amount of raw strength, unlike all her other physical specs. She can sing very well, but she cannot play any instruments, and she refuses to learn how to cook, clean, or do any other household chores. She particularly cannot stand people who wear glasses.

Miranda

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Re: Kira Dvorzak

Post  Axel The Bunny on Tue May 05, 2015 10:03 pm

This app sounds alot like a character from a bad Manga. First thing i wanna say is that the murders of the parents doesn't make sense, sure i can understand her using her powers accidently and killing the stepfather, but why the heck would the mother attack her? if anything the mist would have manipulated her mortal mind and also in that type of sittuation a person would likely flee.
Also International Merc groups do not hire children, they typically recruit from special forces or people out of the military. It would simply be a waste of resources recruiting a seven year old child. Also the fact a seven year old or even a fourteen year old does not make for an effective assassin.
I'm also going to have to reject most of your talents, because they all are  more or less the result of this unrealistic background that frankly does not really happen.

Basically you need to restart tthe history and talents, this character breaks the suspension of belief. and also the fact that this character feels far too Mary Sue.

As for big 3 thing, they already get a bunch of cool powers, so why are you trying to be Assassins Creed?

I feel like i have to refuse to even critique the rest until these parts are fixed.

I reccomend changing parents as well, because We hold Big 3 apps to much higher standards. You should remember this is NOT a manga.
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Axel The Bunny

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