Joshua Cullen

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Joshua Cullen

Post  Joshua Cullen on Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:00 am

Name: Joshua Cullen

Age: 13

God Parent: Apollo

Mortal Family: Emmett Cullen (Father or said to be), Rosalie Cullen (Mother)

Years in Camp: 2 years

History: As a kid I was really love by my known parents, my father, who is a millionaire, gives me stuff and loves me with all he can afford same with my mother, though one thing was very noticeable when you compare me to my parents, I don't have my Father's looks or anything about him, though, I have my mother's eyes which are bright blue. I realized then that everything was wrong, there's something that they're hiding from me... so I listened to them after we ate our supper, I was standing in front of their bedroom door ears near the door and heard, "Rosalie, at some point you have to tell the boy..." I was a bit confused at what my father just said, "I can't it would hurt him to know the truth Emmett, please you know I can't do that" a woman's voice said which I believe is my mother. "It would hurt him more if you don't tell him who his real Father is Rose." what my father said broke my heart into a billion pieces... I am not his son, not his own flesh and blood, now things are clear that's why we don't look alike not by a bit. I can't help it anymore I opened their door and ask directly to mother "Who's my real father then?" I could see the shock in their faces as they turned to look at me "Josh, please understand-" I cut her sentence short "mother, just tell me.... please I beg you..." I begged to her, I kneeled down in front of them "please..." that was when my father came in and hugged me, "your Father's a great god son..."I was a bit confused at what he said... "A God?" I looked at them with a confused face, mother, not knowing how to answer my question simply nodded at me, "Like to ones I found in our library? the Greeks?" , "Yes indeed" said Father... "Apollo, you might as well know" mother intervened, "He told me to let you go to a camp when you're at age, he showed me where, you're safer there" her face was now reddish, "What are we waiting for!? we have to go I need to go there now! I need to see Father!!" I shouted and though, like they knew it was all coming, they reached for a suitcase immediately "I got ready in case of this situation" said Father grinning wildly at me "Let's go" and that is how I came to camp...

Physical Appearance: As seen by most of his friends at camp, he is a tall, skinny kid with bright blue eyes and the blonde hair that a son of Apollo would usually have. Usually he wears a black shirt with the words "Music is life" and is usually seen practicing his archery.

Personality: Joshua is a very enthusiastic person and a very friendly one too, he is usually seen reading psychology books and playing random musical instruments together with his siblings. He is very loyal to his friends, he would do anything to save them even if it means he would have to sacrifice.

Fatal Flaw: his fatal flaw is being too loyal to everyone, he can't stop himself from giving his word, he also is a bad liar.

Talents: He, as expected from a son of Apollo, is great at playing instruments and singing, but other than that, he is also really smart like he could fit into the Athena Cabin.

Weapons: Bronze Arrow and Bow

Joshua Cullen

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Drachmae : 6
Join date : 2015-07-04

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Re: Joshua Cullen

Post  ©razy Dude on Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:48 pm


I'll wait a day or so before saying you can post in threads. Usually you have to wait for a second staff member, but I haven't seen anyone lately... So ya! Wait till about 8-9 tomorrow and hopefully someone else has commented before that!
©razy Dude

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Re: Joshua Cullen

Post  Catryn Greyling on Thu Jul 09, 2015 1:45 am

Pssh, Andrew, we're just in ninja mode.

First of all, Josh, you gotta change the names. Your parents can not be named Emmett and Rosalie Cullen. This isn't like a Twilight AU of some sort. This is a Camp Half-Blood roleplay. Percy Jackson's Greek gods. Demigods. No character cameos from other stories. If you really like their first names, or that surname... you can keep one or the other, we'll allow that, but you just can't have both.

Second of all, the history must be written in third person, not first person. Please fix that. Also, tell us more about how he interacted with his peers while growing up, and how the way his parents raised and treated him affected his life. And you say that Josh has been at camp for two years. What has he done in that time?

The physical appearance section usually has a minimum of four sentences, but it looks like you got the basics covered anyway, so I don't care if you don't want to bother adding anything or splitting your info into more sentences.

Personality also has a minimum of four sentences. Now, this one, you're going to have to add stuff. Some questions you could answer to help flesh out this section: what values does he think are important (like courtesy, integrity, perseverance, etc.)? What would put him in a bad mood? You say he likes psychology books. Does that mean he likes trying to figure people out? Your Other section says he's smart. Add that to personality, and tell us--is he more of a creative thinker, then, or is he technically-minded? Besides the sacrificing thing, what are his weaknesses, and his flaws?

Fatal flaw needs at least four sentences, and the rest seems fine to me.

Once you've made your edits, bump this thread, which will notify me of your changes and I will come back to take another look. Smile If you have any questions, feel free to ask any of the staff. Er, the currently active staff. So, Crazydude, me, Axel the Bunny, Cerulaen, and GeneralArin, one of us should be able to help you if you need it. Smile
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