Hieron (Hero) Blakk

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Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  MissMayHem on Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:39 pm

Name: Hieron (Nickname: Hero) Blakk

Age: 14

God Parent: Apollo

Mortal Family: Mother: Sarah Blank, deceased
Guardian: Rob Wills, Step-father

Years in Camp: New arrival

History: Hieron's mother dies when he was 9 years old of breast cancer. His mother having estranged herself from her family no one wanted to care for Hieron. He now lives with his stepfather. He found a letter from his mother on his 14th birthday telling him about Camp Half-Blood.

Physical Appearance: He has pale blonde hair with an emo/pixie style. The tips of his bangs sweep to the right and are dyed black. He's pale with bright blue eyes. He's short in stature and a bit feminine in the face.

Personality: He's shy, very shy. Because of this he doesn't know how to handle friendly people. Despite his shy nature he does help others whenever he can. He's anxious when around crowds, and he doesn't like to be touched. He's a huge nerd when it comes to video games.

Fatal Flaw: Darkness. Hieron's fear of the darks stems from the abuse he suffers from his stepfather. He would lock him in a closet for days and only bring him out to beat him. Whenever Hieron is surrounded by darkness he's paralyzed with fear. His brain essentially "shuts off."

Talents: Drawing and singing

Weapons: Bow and arrow. He doesn't have one, but he's proficient with this.

Other: Sexuality: Gay

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Re: Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  Axel The Bunny on Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:52 pm

Ok the main problem here is that you need to expand on things. The history is supposed to basically summarize their life up until this point. Personality also needs expanding.

Also your fatal flaw won't work. A fatal flaw is not a random weakness or quirk but a personality trait. For example Axel is arrogant, he believes he can avoid any aort of danger or repercussions of his actions. This could easily get him killed because he tried to do something he wasn't capable of.

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Re: Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  Gusty on Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:11 pm

Further more how did he get to camp? You can't just find it.
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Re: Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  MissMayHem on Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:54 pm

Name: Hieron (Nickname: Hero) Blakk

Age: 14

God Parent: Apollo

Mortal Family: Mother: Sarah Blank, deceased
Guardian: Rob Wills, Step-father

Years in Camp: New arrival

History: Hieron knows nothing about his real father, his mother refused ti talk about him. He was your average, happy child. Then his mother got married to Rob. He was nice at first but as time went on he got cruel towards Hieron. His mother refused to believe Rob could hirt her son. She often would send him to his room if he mentioned the word abuse. Hieron's mother died when he was 9 years old of breast cancer. His mother having estranged herself from her family no one wanted to care for Hieron. He now lives with his stepfather. His stepfather drinks heavily and is often abusive. Hieron has often thought about running away, but can't leave his stepfather unable to care for himself. On his 14th birthday he recieved a letter from his mother to be sent when he turned 14 telling him about Camp Half-Blood(including where to go). He packed his things, left all of his money, excluding bus fare, for his stepfather, and was off to the camp.

Physical Appearance: He has pale blonde hair with an emo/pixie style. The tips of his bangs sweep to the right and are dyed black. He's pale with bright blue eyes. He's short in stature and a bit feminine in the face.

Personality: He is shy and quiet. Most of the time you will find him "people watching" or drawing. He very soft-spoken and often is overlooked. He loves to help others, to know he's made someone happy. He's very compassionate when it comes to the happiness of others. When it comes to making friends or friendly conversation, Hieron is usually at a loss of what to say. This is why he "people watches," to better his social skills.

Fatal Flaw: He's too kind. His compassion for others keeps him from turning someone away, or hurting them even if they hurt him first. He's gotten into some sticky situations because someone needed help. He can't say no to anyone asking for help, no matter who they are.

Talents: Drawing and singing

Weapons: Bow and arrow. He doesn't have one, but he's proficient with this.

Other: Sexuality: Gay

((I hope this is better))


Last edited by MissMayHem on Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:31 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  Axel The Bunny on Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:09 pm

Ok first can yu please add all edits to your original or previous posts from now on? This allows uus to keep the apps cleaner and easier to locate for reference reasons. You can bump the topic up, in fact this is recommmended but it helps if you keep your edits added to the original app post.

I could use a bit on his early life to cover all bases and so that the app is finished, but content wise it looks good.

Personality I could use a biit more and you need to tie the fatal flaw to this section.

Fatal Flaw: This is difficult to explain, but I'm not clear how being too kind can be fatal. especially since kindness is more a behavior than a personality trait. Is it that he's too trusting? too compassionate in that he can't bring himself to harm others?
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Re: Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  Axel The Bunny on Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:38 pm

It looks fine, wait for another staff to approve though.
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Re: Hieron (Hero) Blakk

Post  GeneralArin on Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:26 pm

Looks good. 
Approved

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