Demigod #546161651614

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Demigod #546161651614

Post  Japkot on Sun Nov 29, 2015 3:00 pm

Name: Maxwell Rockens


Age: 10


God Parent: Ares (Not yet claimed)


Mortal Family: Diana Rockens, deceased at age 38 leaving Max to live his life as an orphan


Years in Camp: Arriving at the moment.


History:

Well here's the one part i wasn't looking forward to...

So Maxwell here had a veeery crappy life;

Well as you know from up there he is pretty much an orphan, a very cliche one at that! Never knew his dad, mother died while giving birth to him. Leaving him to be raised on a orphanage which was in Brooklyn, He didn't now anything about his family and it always bugged him how he didn't know which one of his parents h looked like and the director on the orphanage was dead-set against telling him if he looked like his mother or not, probably because some mischevious prank involving a dumped  can of paint on his wig...

First years into his life he was doing the cleaning duties throughought the orphanage, spending all his time in either 'the box' where he was put in detention or the library reading books., and occasionally getting bullied but that  was strangely relieving for him because he get to put them in their place.

He didn't get to make alot of friends because the kids on the orphanage were afraid of his indimadating behaviours and what little friends he had made had all since been adopted or transferred to other orphanages, leaving him behind in the orphanage, alone to the whims of the insane overseer who was the wife of the director, how does that work you ask? I dunno either.

The torture that was called the life of Maxwell continued, but something weird happened when suddenly he was woken from his sleep in the middle of the night, rather rudely i might add.

The person who woke him up was called Jim, he had just transferred to the orphanage and immidietly decided to befriend Maxwell and because of it he was immidetly branded as an outcast, he was too frail and to weak to defend from bullies but Maxwell took a liking to him and being the amazingly goodhearted person he was, decided to protect him from them. Being the oddball he was He always walked around weirdly like he wasn't used to walking and he can eat just about anything. One time Maxwell saw him eat a whole brownie with its paper and everything. Again... What an oddball.

But there's pure seriousness in his expression when he told him to get up and get dressed. then he, tells him that he was the son of an olympian greek god then tells him that he was in danger from a 'hellhound attack' and after all of that nonsense he says that he has to take Maxwell to a camp.

You can imagine how that went...

And if you thought that he called Jim crazy and went back to bed, you thought correct! He certainly didn't have time for his jokes... But when he dragged him out of the bed and took out his shoe to reveal a... goat hoof? Instead of a leg and tells Max that he's a satyr Max here pretty much believes his friend. Things get more weirder when he takes out a sword which is emmiting a strange glow and gives it to Maxwell.

So half asleep he gets dressed, puts on a leather jacket, a black t-shirt and black sweatpants [What? My favorite colour!] and fallowed the Satyr outside, while thinking it was all a dream. But like every instance when somone thought it was a dream, something had to happen to prove that it was not one.

In this case it was a giant dog...

It immidetly jumped on Jim and managed to bite him on his arm before Maxwell swung the sword on his hand to its  leg, he was reluctant when swinging and this hesitation, caused the dog to survive. It pulled away with a whimper and ran away and soon after they heard a howl rang through the night and Max was about to turn to Jim to tell that they should get out of there.  But Jim's condition was not good, the giant hound had managed to rip out his arm half out of the socket. And Max immidietly realized that his friend was not going to survive. Jim managed to rasp out for Max not to worry and  that he had a good long life helping 'others like you' and gave Max a marked map and made him swear on 'River Styks' to go to the marked place no matter what happened. He accepted without thinking, how couldn't he? It was the least he could've done for failing to save him.

Jim's final request was from Max to bring what was left of him to his home...

His eyes lost focus and he turned them to the night sky and took his final breath  then closed them, and then after a while freezed shock i realized that he was dead. And then he turned into a sapling, which still had me puzzled...

But he didn't have enough time to mourn his friend as the dog was certain to come in for another swoop with company no less. So he took the fallen backpack of his friend and put it on then propped the little sapling between his back and the backpack and started running for the bus station...

Physical Appearance:

Curled and always disheveld black hair and dark blue eyes that contrasts with his pearl-white skin a delicate and yet masculine face, He has a slender build but that makes him very agile. He has a very standard clothing style, a leather jacket, pants and a t-shirt all colour black. He changes the shirt with a sweater (again black) in winter.


Personality:

Brave: Due to his life being the God of Courage, Maxwell grow up to be very brave.
Hot-Headed: Maxwell throught his life has seen nothing more then bad treatment. So he got angrier and angrier. The bullies in the orphanages often left with bleeding noses when coming at him.
Shy: Maxwell didn't have many friends through his life, and given up on trying to find them halfway through. He keeps to himself and tries to blend in.
Crazy Pants: Maxwell was alone through his life. And combined with his bad temper that gave him many days where he was in 'the box' so he started talking to himself. Not on 'Insane Guy' levels though. More like exclamations. Due to this he can talk without thinking.
Loyal: Maxwell was loyal to the few friends he had gathered throught his life in the orphanage. He tried to protect them with all his strength. Even if all of those friends left him behind, he still had the concept of loyalty engraved into his head.
Sarcasm is strong in this one: ...


Fatal Flaw: Maxwell is known for his impatience. Combining with ADHD he can be a walking disaster. He can never stay in one place for too long and pretty much runs to wherever he is going. He charges to battle head on and thinks that ambushes are unnecessary because the monsters are stupid. This making him useless in stealth and drawn out fights.


Talents:

Bookworm: Maxwell, due to his loneliness, has always read books to relieve himself of boredom. He will read alot o books and will usually be seen in the library.
Combat Skill: Due to being the son of the God of War Maxwell like all his siblings is a natural fighter. He prefers two handed greatswords with light armor so he can move fast and deal alot of damage.




Current Possesions:

A strange glowing sword some friggin goat-legged dude gave him.
A map, circled a particular are in Long Island, New York


b]Other:[/b]

Likes:
1- Books
2- Medieval History.
3- Colour Black

Dislikes:
1- The mention of his dead mother
2- People threatening his friends
3- Bullies


Last edited by Japkot on Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:32 am; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Preferences not correct)
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  GeneralArin on Sun Nov 29, 2015 3:18 pm

Okay, in the history you're flipping cases, keep that third person. 

The formatting's a bit odd, but maybe at least put it in the right order so we can find things well. And lighten some of the darker colors that you used, it makes it hard to read. 

Fatal flaw is good, just needs to expand on details. 
Make you appearance sentences and not a list, and describe what "frozen green" means.

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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Japkot on Sun Nov 29, 2015 5:34 pm

updated
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Axel The Bunny on Sun Nov 29, 2015 9:26 pm

You still have things out of order, but content wise things seem pretty good.
The US does not actually have orphanages anymore, and they have not been in effect for awhile. We use the foster system, but I'll let you keep that since it's fiction and not really a big deal, just figured I should bring it up.
the one real issue you have is the formatting, we have an app template but really you just need to move some sections around.

Fix the formattting issue and your good, wait for another staff member to approve though.
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Japkot on Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:29 am

updated!!!
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Axel The Bunny on Mon Nov 30, 2015 12:45 pm

Alright approved, wait for another staff member to comment though.
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Catryn Greyling on Wed Dec 02, 2015 3:18 am

This looks pretty darn great! The only slight issue is that the physical appearance section needs a minimum of four sentences. Perhaps you can mention the kind of clothing Max would usually be wearing. (Honestly I'll let you get away with just three sentences because jeez if it isn't hard sometimes to toss up a paragraph about just the character's appearance.) So yup, just throw in an extra sentence or two and you're approved for roleplaying! Very Happy
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Japkot on Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:32 am

updated
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

Post  Catryn Greyling on Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:53 am

Alright, approved! Welcome to the site! Very Happy
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Re: Demigod #546161651614

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