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Character Application: Lucas Ramsey

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Post  Sherlock Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:14 am

New Character

Name: Lucas H. Ramsey

Age: 13

God Parent: Dolos

Mortal Family: Mother; Julia Ramsey. (Dead)

Years in Camp: none

History: In Lucas' Elementary school life, he lied his way around late assignment. He soon realized that he could get his peers to believe any wild story or tall tale that he told. He was an amazing and friendly person, because people believed his excuses. This all changed when Lucas was 13, he was followed home by a cyclops (evil kind) . The cyclops then broke into Lucas' house and attacked his mother. After knocking Lucas' mother to the ground, the cyclops walked towards Lucas. Lucas' mothers threw a bronze Javelin that killed the monster. She then died telling Lucas how to get to Camp Half-Blood. He easily got to Camp Half-Blood, because his scent was not strong. Because the Cyclops killed his mother, whom he loved, he is sad and hard to talk to, because he has made himself a shell.

Physical Appearance: Lucas has Blonde-Brown hair. His eyes are a hazel-green. He wears jeans and the customary orange T-shirt. He wears a simple blue baseball cap over his most of his eyes that he rarely pulls up.

Personality: He acts like a normal mortal the majority of the time. He finishes jobs, when has motivation (eg its a late assignment). He feels fine around people but he does not initiate conversations, or ask questions. He is typically an unfriendly person because of his past. He does not have an anxiety problem but he does over-stress himself. Once you break his bubble and his facade of being ok he can be a great friend. Under the bubble he can be brave if they are others to keep him accountable. He would no try to rally teammates, but would go with someone, who is rallying.

Fatal Flaw: When in a perilous situation he tries to save himself. He doesn't trust people with weapons even on his side because he feels like that they might betray him.

Talents: He can through a spear well, and can use it in close-range combat. He notices immediately if someone is lying or holding back truth. Sometimes he can tell what, but only if they speak.

Weapons: All-Bronze Javelin that can fold at his command. It folds into a keychain assortment.

Other: He over-all just a bad past.


Last edited by Sherlock on Wed Mar 08, 2017 7:15 pm; edited 6 times in total
Sherlock
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Post  Zach Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:06 pm

Hey! Thanks for applying!

Overall, it's a great baseline for a character. Again, I will point out that I am not staff and you don't have to listen to me.

That said, I know that one of the things they would say would be... "More!" Add some more stuff to everything. The more the merrier. For example, what was his life like before thirteen? How did he feel about his mom dying? How does his fatal flaw hurt him? What makes him happy or comfortable? Does he appreciate when people specifically talk to him?

Just some ideas.

I would like to also have you look at this so that you know what the site is going through right now.
Zach
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Post  Sherlock Tue Feb 14, 2017 8:13 pm

I wish you were staff because then I could start role-playing.

I changed him a bit. Do you think it works better?
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Post  Zach Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:18 pm

Being staff would make this easier, but I never was consistently active enough to be considered for anything other than Senior Camper. xP

It's still a bit on the short side, but I can see if one of the staff is able to take a look at it. They are pretty busy nowadays...
Zach
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Post  Sherlock Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:39 pm

Hey Zach,

Do you think that I should replace his ability of "tell if someone is lying" to "He can control the mist so strongly that even half-bloods can be fooled?
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Post  Gusty Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:00 pm

Hi Sherlock, sorry to but in. I am not staff either but controlling the mist is very OP especially if even half bloods can be fooled. Not to mention at Lucas' age...And if he has no years at camp there's no way he could've learnt it. I understand he is good at fooling people but I just think it's a stretch.
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Post  Sherlock Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:05 pm

Good Point Gutsy.

I might just stick to the lying thing.
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Post  Catryn Greyling Tue Feb 28, 2017 10:28 pm

First of all, thanks so much Zach and Gusty for commenting in the staff's absence! I know it's not supposed to happen but considering how we've all been MIA, I couldn't care less about that rule and am grateful. So, again, thanks guys. Very Happy *showers them in confetti*

But yes, on to the app. Just as a note, kaleidoscopic eyes aren't possible, so personally I would recommend changing that, but if you really want that to be a part of your character's appearance, it's not too big of a deal.

Zach's right about the personality being a little lacking. Tell us: why does he lie all the time, and how does that relate to who he is as a person? You could also take a look at the Big Five personality factors (openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism) and tell us about where your character lies on these traits (pun unintended). Also, define "normal person". What kind of "normal person" front does he put up, and how does that compare to how he really is? Another thing you could do if you want is to tie in his fatal flaw.

Fix that up and you should be good to roleplay. So sorry about the long wait!
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Post  Sherlock Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:57 pm

Is this better?
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Post  Axel The Bunny Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:17 pm

It actually seems fine to me, I'd like to see a bit more on how your character actually is, but on the whole I'd say it's good since you are a minor demigod anyway Elaborate a bit more on who they actually are and you're approved..
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Post  Sherlock Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:21 am

Axel The Bunny wrote:It actually seems fine to me, I'd like to see a bit more on how your character actually is, but on the whole I'd say it's good since you are a minor demigod anyway Elaborate a bit more on who they actually are and you're approved..

Who is 'they'?
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Post  Axel The Bunny Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:13 pm

your character.

And I'll go ahead and say approved now, wait for another staff member's comments.
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Post  Catryn Greyling Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:40 am

Personality looks good.

I just noticed that Lucas's best friend gets killed by a Cyclops, who then goes on to pretend to be the friend, follows Lucas home, and attacks. Do you mean he followed as in discreetly and without Lucas noticing, or walking with Lucas under the guise of the friend? Either way, I'm not sure the Cyclops would have to go through all that trouble just to get to Lucas; it would be pretty easy to just follow him and attack him without killing and pretending to be the friend. If the Cyclops did want to use trickery, he wouldn't necessarily have to kill the friend just to pose as him, and I don't think they can really shapeshift in that way anyway unless you mean that the Cyclops just knew how to manipulate the Mist. So, this long spiel is basically just me saying that taking out the best friend's death-by-Cyclops would probably be a good idea.

It's mentioned that he has a 'bad past' and that he's unfriendly because of said past. Are the best friend and mom dying basically the reasons Lucas is said to have had a bad past? I'd like to know more about what made his life so lousy. Also, if you're still a little short on sentences (the history section requires 8 sentences), give us a sentence on Lucas's relationship with his mother. Once you've got that done, you'll be approved and ready to roleplay!
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Post  Catryn Greyling Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:15 pm

Nice job! Approved. Welcome to the site!
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Post  Sherlock Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:31 pm

Thanks!
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