New Character: Storm Sparks

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New Character: Storm Sparks Empty New Character: Storm Sparks

Post  Storm Sparks on Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:22 pm

Name:Storm Sparks
Godly Parent:Apollo
Family: Taima Sparks-Mom (Deceased)
Years at camp: 0
History:She was born July 28th,2005. She used to live in Northern Nevada. She is an only child, her mom passed away when she was 8. She has been living on the streets earning money to buy food by singing and playing the ukulele. She learned how to live off of  things she could find in the trash or on the side of the road. She used morals from old tribal stories her mom would tell me to find my way around the land. She had heard a rumor about a place where special kids could go that was in Long Island. She traveled across the land to find it, that's how she found Camp.
Appearance:5'5", Long Auburn hair that has a golden sheen to it in the sunlight. Bright blue-grey eyes with a golden ring
around the pupil. Tan skin, Athletic-curvy build.Always wearing a beaded charm bracelet she got from my mother.
Personality: Instinctual, Talented, and Caring. Strong willed fighter with a determined spirit. Protective of anybody that means something to her. Always prepared  with anything that you could need if you every got into trouble.
Fatal Flaw: Overly-protective, She will go to the ends of the earth and do whatever is necessary to protect those she cares
Talents:Healing, everything from physical to mental wounds. Is extremely knowledgeable in modern and ancient medicines.
Weapons: Bow and Arrow or Dagger
Other:Favorite color is purple. Loves spending time at lakes and beaches. Favorite food is cookie dough icecream. Loves people but has social anxiety in large crowds. Has a fear of dying in complete darkness.

Storm Sparks

Posts : 1
Drachmae : 3
Join date : 2017-03-10

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New Character: Storm Sparks Empty Re: New Character: Storm Sparks

Post  Axel The Bunny on Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:47 pm

Backstory feels a bit shy of details. first id just take off the date, as we keep the RP out of any particular year, this is because sometimes an in RP year can go for multiple real world years sometimes.

now onto the actual substantive stuff How exactly did an 8 year old learn to survive, I can write off the ukele thing but how did she survive, why didn't she simply go into the foster system? did she run away? Also how did an 8 year old learn to live off the streets, it's not exactly easy, perhaps someone taught her survival skills/how to survive? How did she travel from Nevada to New York? thats not exactly an easy feat for an 11 year old.

Talented is not a personality trait, one can be talented in anything. neither is instinctual, I suppose you could elaborate on that. Do you mean impulsive?

Id also say "extremely knowledgeable of modern medicine" is a bit of a stretch, I'm fine with some natural skill at it but modern medicine is rather complex, hence why doctors tend to spend at least 8-14 years simply training to be fully trained doctors. But i'll accept medical knowledge within reason, just dont expect to be doing any major surgeries. especially for a 12 year old.

Other than that stuff I dont really have any major problems with this. Fix these and I'll look over it again.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 613
Drachmae : 1196
Join date : 2013-10-14
Age : 23
Location : Causing needless destruction

Character sheet
Olympian Parent: Axel-Hermes. NIx: Hephaestus
Items :

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