Hannah Zadach

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Hannah Zadach

Post  camcam9999 on Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:36 pm

Name: Hannah Zadach
Age:17
God Parent:Zeus
Mortal Family: • PARENT 1 NAME: Chloe Zadach Mother. 31 Deceased
Years in Camp:4 years
Brief History: Hannah for most of her life was happy, and thought she had the perfect life. Then it all came crashing down on her. When she was 13 her mother died in a plane crash, and when she heard the news she was devastated. She had no father figure to talk to, and all she couldn't get to any of her friend's houses. She didn't know what to do with herself after that. She fell into depression, and began self harming until one day a satyr came and said "Come on... I'm gonna take you somewhere safe." At the time she wasn't right and she followed him. When she arrived on half-blood hill, Dark-Wing showed up, and said through the empathy link Zeus had given the two "Hello Hannah, Daughter of Zeus I am Dark-Wing s gift from your father." She was immediately put into the Zeus cabin, and was able to avoid at least the Hermes cabin.
Physical Appearance: Hannah has long electric blue hair stopping around her chest. Her eyes are a very dark brown, contrasting with her pale skin. Her height is average, she's 5'6. She is pretty thin, weighing in at 130 lbs. She doesn't wear much make-up other then the black eye-liner that she normally puts on. She's known to wear lots of bracelets, hoodies, long sleeved shirts etc. to try and hide cuts and scars from self harming. She wears a diamond necklace, which in the center has an d lightning bolt that her mother gave her. When she feels an extreme of any emotion her hair begins to stand on end, and sparks are seen coming off of it.
Personality:Hannah to other people, is very nice, and positive...of course, that isn't how she really is. When alone she's the exact opposite. When her mother died, she fell into a deep depression, and has yet to recover. She's shy, and doesn't usually approach people, but she does enjoy human interaction. She isn't very talkative, and because of this doesn't reveal much of herself to people. She lies a lot, to hide her sadness. She thinks acting positive around people will help her grieve over the loss of her mother. She isn't very confident, and doesn't think very positively about myself. She's very trusting of others, but when someone seems shady she never completely lets her guard down around them.
Fatal Flaw: Low confidence. Hannah doesn't believe in herself, and feels that everything that she does might end in failure, and losing of anyone she's attached to. She's always scared of doing anything important for fear of doing it wrong.
Talents:• TALENT 1: Hannah, can (as with most Zeus kids) channel Electricity. Because of this, Hannah can do anything from power small objects by holding them to shooting lightning at someone. Of course, the stronger variation she uses the more energy it uses. Like if she powers on a light-bulb it takes less energy then shooting lightning at someone.
• TALENT 2: Hannah, can control the winds, barely though. She can maybe push things, or jump a little higher with this power, but it is very taxing to her. She doesn't use this power very much, because of how dangerous it is, so she is almost fearful of it.
• TALENT 3: Hannah with focus can attract magnetic things to her, like an electro magnet. It's range is small about 10 feet in diameter, and the bigger the object the more energy it takes out of her.
Weapons:Hannah's weapon, is her longer then usual celestial bronze spear. It doesn't work well in close quarters, so she tends to avoid fighting in buildings. It's made to be able to channel electricity through it, with a small wire going from the handle. It also has an inactive state as a useable iPod touch.
Other:


Last edited by camcam9999 on Sat Mar 09, 2013 8:04 am; edited 3 times in total
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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  Wes on Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:43 pm

That's a very generic bio, could you try to add specifics, like what he did to be labeled a 'troublemaker' or how he got to camp?

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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  camcam9999 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 9:42 am

I've changed the character from Cameron. They both have the same parent but this character is much better.
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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  Lily on Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:22 am

Saw it. Could you fix it so it's easier to read? Cameron wans't too bad of a vharacter, but if you really want to.....
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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  GeneralArin on Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:48 pm

Please remove the code...Or fix every single one of those. Forumotion uses brackets: [ ].
It's taking way to long to try to read your application...

And can't you just use *our* character application?

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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  camcam9999 on Sat Mar 09, 2013 8:04 am

edited.
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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  Lily on Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:47 am

Her life before her mum's death is very vague. Please elaborate a bit.
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Re: Hannah Zadach

Post  GeneralArin on Sat Mar 09, 2013 8:04 pm

You're back?

Sorry Magneto, no magnet powers. If you want to make an electromagnet, go grab a metal rod and some wires and try not to electrocute yourself. Even then, they'd still be a regular electromagnet, not significantly more powerful than a regular magnet unless you have some serious time to wind the coils.


As Lily said, former home life is vague. Elaborate, perhaps on the crucial why she was so devastated over her mother's death? Security blanket? Close?
More importantly, explain why this depression dominates every single one of her character traits. I understand being depressed, but while that does affect several things, it won't change their inherent personality. Pretend for a moment that she isn't chronically depressed. What is she like?
If she scrapes her knee, does she play it off even though she's hurting? Why? Is she trying to look tough? Is she trying to convince herself it doesn't hurt?

And Depression doesn't work quite like that...Useful Notes on Depression.


Fatal flaw is fine. Perhaps try to relate it more closely to the personallity.

Honestly, I don't like the eagle thing. Especially not a talking eagle...

Then there's the "Working iPod Touch" spear... I'm going to say no. That would definately break my suspension of disbelief there. Then, the warning: Channeling Electricity with you as the battery, would drain you rather quickly in a real fight. Either limit that, or stick a C-cell somewhere in that thing.
Actually, extend that to your whole character. Batteries drain very quickly, and keep in mind you don't exactly have spares on your life-batteries, and those said batteries are already hard at work trying to keep your body you know, alive and functioning normally.

Then, you made no mencion of your "Big-Threeness" in your bio other than the magical talking eagle oddity. No accidently shocking people on a cold day, no monster oddities, just a random talking bird.

Your mom died in a plane crash. Heh. Irony.

Then, you've been at camp at four years? That's a rather important part of your life as well. For some perspective, Jake and Lily are both four or five years as a camper. They're well-known senior campers. Who are you? How has camp life been?

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