Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

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Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  Syl on Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:03 am

Name: Sylvania Summers (nickname: Syl)
Age: 13
God Parent: Hephaestus
Mortal Family: Karoliana Summers (mother)
Years in Camp: 0 for now (will be a Year-Rounder)

Brief History: She has lived with dyslexia, and for some reason overcame ADHD. She was home schooled with her mother, and she had very few friends from her neighborhood. Her mother would be so protective of her, and she barely traveled. Her mother never told her anything about why her father would never come home, and it was always a touchy subject for her. Her mother wanted her to have a normal girl's life, but Syl refused. She stayed in home, though, because she loved to craft and experiment. Her mother was also making stuff and selling them for money. Syl was one of those people who was so fond of home, until a message came from camp and she was brought to a chariot that brought her to camp. She never had the time to say good-bye to her mother, though, so she felt a little guilty.

Physical Appearance: She has wavy light brown hair. Syl usually wears her favorite shorts, checkered violet ones, and wear the orange camp t-shirt. Syl has rough skin and her hands are never numb. She has light brown eyes, and likes to dress simply at all times.

Personality: She usually tries her best to be really polite, but then am a little rough sometimes. Syl can get caught up on something really easily, and she can have a soft spot on demigods that are also enemies. She easily gets lonely, and... sometimes she's a little shy. Syl likes to be around people, and like to help. Syl prides herself for being kind, and she is a little too easy to tell.

Fatal Flaw: Honesty. Syl can hardly ever tell a lie, and sometimes she tells the truth by mistake.
Talents: Crafting, Experimenting, and making friends
Weapons: ειρήνη, Elini (a celestial bronze dagger)


Last edited by Syl on Mon Oct 21, 2013 6:24 am; edited 21 times in total (Reason for editing : I had to be... a little more descriptive.)
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Syl

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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:55 pm

Yes! A Hepheastus kid! (Better than Big Three, in my opinion.)

Your application is on the thin side, however....
The Personality should be more than a few words. Try and round out the description more, you're describing a person not a paper. Be more descriptive.

The fatal flaw also needs to be fleshed out some. That shouldn't be too hard, though. While kindness doesn't really sound like a flaw... or a fatal one... That one definatly needs explaining. I can help you with the honesty part, though. If you're overly honest, then you tend to be rather blunt in speaking or just be a really bad liar. I can see how that's a flaw... again needs to be explained how it's fatal.
Just a recap: A Fatal Flaw is a personality shortcoming that will be the thing that has a huge chance of biting you in the butt down the road. For example, Jake's main personality trait comes down to being a very determined person. His fatal flaw is that he's very stubborn. Without intervention, would probably run himself into the ground very quickly.

Another Admin might call you out on how you kinda skipped over the getting to camp part...

TLDR:
Flesh out your personality and fix or explain the fatal flaw.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

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Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  Syl on Fri Jan 18, 2013 8:59 pm

GeneralArin wrote:Yes! A Hepheastus kid! (Better than Big Three, in my opinion.)

Your application is on the thin side, however....
The Personality should be more than a few words. Try and round out the description more, you're describing a person not a paper. Be more descriptive.

The fatal flaw also needs to be fleshed out some. That shouldn't be too hard, though. While kindness doesn't really sound like a flaw... or a fatal one... That one definatly needs explaining. I can help you with the honesty part, though. If you're overly honest, then you tend to be rather blunt in speaking or just be a really bad liar. I can see how that's a flaw... again needs to be explained how it's fatal.
Just a recap: A Fatal Flaw is a personality shortcoming that will be the thing that has a huge chance of biting you in the butt down the road. For example, Jake's main personality trait comes down to being a very determined person. His fatal flaw is that he's very stubborn. Without intervention, would probably run himself into the ground very quickly.

Another Admin might call you out on how you kinda skipped over the getting to camp part...

TLDR:
Flesh out your personality and fix or explain the fatal flaw.

Yeah, uh... I tried my best to fix my fatal flaw and personality, and also the brief history and things...
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Syl

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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:15 pm

Alright, it looks better, but just a bit more is needed on the Personality.
It's still a bit short. (Though much better with the discription.)
Really, just another sentence would work. Maybe you can relate back what you wrote under talents and fatal flaw with it.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



NPCs
Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  Syl on Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:18 pm

Thanks for the advice.
I added a little more to the personality, and...
Well, yeah. Thanks, once again.
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:35 pm

Alright, it looks good to me.

Another Admin needs to also give their two cents before you're officially approved.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



NPCs
Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
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GeneralArin
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Posts : 2790
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  Syl on Sat Jan 19, 2013 3:17 am

'Two Cents'? I don't get that expression... or something.

I also can't wait to get claimed by Hephaestus. Smile
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  GeneralArin on Sat Jan 19, 2013 1:23 pm

It just means to add their opinion in things.

I can't wait either, then I'd finally have a cabin mate...

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



NPCs
Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
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GeneralArin
RP Supervisor/SoldierA

Posts : 2790
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:35 pm

Well, since they're taking a while... I'm going to say approved.
If they do have complaints, it would probably over less important points that won't immediately affect role play.

So, Approved.
If either of them post something to fix, then go a head and just change it.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



NPCs
Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
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GeneralArin
RP Supervisor/SoldierA

Posts : 2790
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  Syl on Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:19 pm

Oh, wow, thank you!
So... I can post now? I'm a little worried.

I'll just wait until someone else accepts it.
Smile
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Re: Sylvania Summers, daughter of Hephaestus

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:23 pm

Nah, don't be worried. Go ahead and post.
I'm sure you're anxious to get going, I hate to make you wait for so long.

_________________
"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

Characters:
Jake Arin: Hephestus: CHB
Marcus Rayne: Zeus: Titan Army

Obligatory Signature Images:



NPCs
Ty... hellhound.
Agamemnon: Giant robotic transformer dragon of awesome

I'm one of those big, bad Admin dudes. Fear me. Or you know, pm me with important junk.
avatar
GeneralArin
RP Supervisor/SoldierA

Posts : 2790
Drachmae : 6262
Join date : 2009-05-29
Age : 22
Location : In my own little world....it's okay: they know me there.

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