Damian son of hepheastus

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Damian son of hepheastus

Post  Damian is my fake name on Thu Feb 07, 2013 8:48 pm

Name: Damian Johnson
Age:12
God Parent: Hephaestus
Mortal Family: Sarah (mom) and smelly Allen (worst stepdad ever)
Years in Camp:
Brief History: His ancient ancestors had pleased Athena so she gave his entire bloodline great intelligence. And Hades is one of his ancestors but he has no abilities from him besides the ability to sense the earth and find caverns (but only when blind folded) also his father is Hephaestus and he has the ability to build well and control fire. He has no friends in school except one who had died saving his life, his last words were "I am your protector". Also his mom married a jerk named Allen similar to Gabe from the lightning thief. he is bullied all the time and is incredibly emo. And was taken to camp half-blood when he was attacked by a hydra that tried to burn him (it didn't work obviously) it was sent by Ares. Then Percy saved him and took him to camp to train.
Physical Appearance: Hispanic skin color. usually wears red and black. has a chain that his friend gave him before he died. usually carries a one strap book bag to carry supplies (including his red blindfold).
Personality: He is nice but usually depressed and the moment he gets a friend he will not let him/her go no matter what. he is usually depressed but is very peaceful. He hates bullies of every kind and will go crazy when he gets the chance to give them a taste of their own medicine. He is very smart and studies Greek mythology all the time.
Fatal Flaw: He will never let go of a friend he always wanted one when he gets one he wont let them go he doesn't care about the cost, in other words, shoot him your fine, shoot his friend, somehow, you have a knife in your throat(haven't u wondered what happened to his friends killer? also due to this he will be willing to sacrifice himself which is a huge consequence that can save his friends but end him (he actually was once shot trying to save his friend but that didn't work)
Talents: He is great at tae kwon doe, he is a master escape artist, he can figure out any problems solution, and a master builder
Weapons: click pen sword with a blade hotter than the sun, helmet that allows him to understand any mechanic or tech as well as mind control robots(it has the same design as a Spartan helmet).
Other: his favorite color is red, his saying is, "What's more powerful, the pen or the sword, I choose PEN! *clicks pen*".

Damian is my fake name

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Re: Damian son of hepheastus

Post  GeneralArin on Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:58 pm

Well, first thing: This site takes a while after the main books. So no mention of Percy. The comparison to the Lightning thief is unnessisary.

About the bio: It's rather scattered. Try and rearrange it to a logical order. Things about your character, don't go in the History, just events. Then, there are *way* too many gods involved in your life. Honestly, only a Rick Riordan main character can be expected to have that many gods involved in your life before you were twelve. Especially one that includes Ares hating your guts for no apparent reason. You also already state you're a Hephaestus kid in the app. It's not needed in the bio. We get it.
No Hephaestus fire. It's a rare power.

About the personality: You said depressed at least twice. Three times if you count the "emo" mention in the bio. You have a temper and tend to "go nuts", that wouldn't exclude acting out towards your friends. Then how can you be peaceful with a hair-trigger temper? Intelligent is alright, but unless it's a crucial part of your character, noting that you read Greek mythology isn't nessisary. If anything, it'd go into your history as a part of your homelife.
It's rather two-dimentional. "Emo and loyal." Perhaps add a bit more depth to it. Why is he loyal? Is he also stubborn? Or does he just like people? Is he a caring guy? Is he emotional? Or is he depressed because his life is just hard?

Fatal Flaw: ....seeing as it is technically in your bio... but it's also rather common. Personally I'd rather see another one, but if that's really it...

Weapons: No mind-control bots. Pen-sword... I would prefer otherwise, but if you're set on it you don't need to change it unless another Admin says no.

Talents: How did you become a master at age twelve? Builder (with mechanisms) is implied.

...you also didn't say how many years at camp.


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