Application

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Application

Post  xXSwagdudeXx on Thu Feb 28, 2013 8:44 pm

Name: Hunter Morris
Age: 12
God Parent: Poseidon
Mortal Family: Shawn Morris, Crystal Morris
Years in Camp:1
Brief History: My Mom married a nice man named Shawn. My best friends name is Michael. Im into Greek Mythology. i love to hang out with my brother!
Physical Appearance: I like to play Kick Ball. AND I LOVE FOOTBALL. I LIKE HOCKEY. and im obsessed with tennis.
Personality: im more of a funny kind of person. if you get me mad though im sure i can tell you off or make you speechless. im extremely mean if you make me mad. and im one of those people that will break every bone in you're body ig mad enough.
Fatal Flaw: My Fatal Flaw is Fire... Im terrified of it it's like my enemy.
Talents:Breathing underwater, Controlling water. Fasr runner. Fast Swimmer. And good hand to hand combat.
Weapons:Fists, Triton, Scarlight (My sword). Dagger. usage of water.
Other: I wear torn black sinny jeans (not skin tight though). i have a DC sweater i wear. My shirt is a purple t-shirt with a electric blue sword on it. My Eyes are a ton of colors. if im neutral they are gray. if im mad they are red.if im emarressed they turn blue.

xXSwagdudeXx

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Re: Application

Post  GeneralArin on Thu Feb 28, 2013 9:41 pm

...

Here we go, in no particular order:
1. Fear is not a Fatal Flaw. Fatal Flaw is a personality short-coming.
2. Talents are things that aren't obvious, token Poseidon kid powers are obvious.
3. Too many Poseiden kids. Try another god, or make this fifty times better.
4. Physical appearance is how you look, not what sports you like.
5. Bio is incredibly vague. You didn't mention a brother in your mortal family section either, and then camp was never mentioned. Is one year mean that you've been here a summer or just got here?

6. ...this is what should have been put in the "Physical appearance" section. Though rainbow-mood-ring-eyes are a no-no.
7. Weapons: what is "Triton"? Fists don't count as a weapon unless you're planning on using them all the time. Water is a stock Poseidon power. Doesn't count.
8. Personality: You only said you were funny and had a terrible temper. Expand. This is a person not a doll.

Then typically we do things in third person, like telling a story. Not an interview.
...
...seriously. Redo it.

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Re: Application

Post  Lily on Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:54 am

....I'd recommend Ares as the replacement.
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Re: Application

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