Half-Blood Vengeance
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Post  Hamlin11fan18 Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:21 pm

Name: Airel Samantha Hamlin prefers to be called air or sammie
Age:12
God Parent:Apollo
Mortal Family: Jordan Hamlin(dead)Mary lu Hamlin(grandma)
Years in Camp:6
Brief History: She was born on long island new york.At age five she witinised a murder.By the time she was 6 she ran away and found the camp by wondering around.She was at her grandmother's house when she ran away.She needed to get away from her grandma anyways.at age 12 she found a boyfriend named Macbeth patterson.
Physical Appearance:She has short wavy black hair to about right below her ears.She has hazel eyes hidden behind her green glasses.She is1" and lean but athletic ( she is on the school swim team).She dresses like a rock star every day because her idol does.She wears a necklace with her name on it.
Personality: She is kind and caring to her friends family and boyfriend.She is manipulative towards people who get in her way.She is also very mean and rude to anyone who gets in her way.She gets mad when someone calls her Lady Macbeth because it is not the same person from the shakesphere play
Fatal Flaw: Deadly pride. This can ruin her because she doesn't know it is making her boyfriend go crazy.It can also ruin her because she is to prideful when she wins.
Talents:singing archery healing. The healing is her power.She can heal anything from scraps and bruises to 3 inch deep lacerations and 4 inch deep wounds or broken bones. she can use it twice a day and three hours apart. she can only heal herself and two others.
Weapons:bow and celestial bronzed tipped arrows and a celeistal bronze sword
Other:


Last edited by Hamlin11fan18 on Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:12 am; edited 2 times in total

Hamlin11fan18

Posts : 6
Drachmae : 12
Join date : 2013-10-29

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Post  GeneralArin Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:36 pm

As a fair warning, Poseidon is a full cabin right now. You won't be able to use him as your godly parent. (Any the other two Big Three members might not fair much better.)
I would recommend choosing a different parent.
GeneralArin
GeneralArin
RP Supervisor/SoldierA

Posts : 2791
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Join date : 2009-05-29
Age : 29
Location : In my own little world....it's okay: they know me there.

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Olympian Parent: Hephaestus
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Post  Hamlin11fan18 Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:03 am

how do you edit the form?

Hamlin11fan18

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Post  Cerulaen Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:24 am

((There's a little button at the very bottom of your post that says "edit." Just click that.))
Cerulaen
Cerulaen
Match Maker

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Post  Hamlin11fan18 Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:36 am

thanks. edited:king: 

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Post  GeneralArin Wed Oct 30, 2013 12:38 pm

We don't usually allow people coming to camp so young or for so long. And I'm not sure how a murder or a boyfriend are relevant, so you're going to have to explain those out more.
...I'm also not comfortable with the idea of someone being 12 with a boyfriend. Call me old fashioned.


You're going to need to explain how pride affects things negatively, other than this boyfriend, like how she would react to losses or needing to ask for help or things like that. Then put a bit with pride in the personallity to connect them more.


And personally, I think that this boyfriend makes up too much of your character. Believe it or not, you can be a person without having a boyfriend. You don't have to take it out, just add more character definition that doesn't have to do anything with him.

GeneralArin
GeneralArin
RP Supervisor/SoldierA

Posts : 2791
Drachmae : 6263
Join date : 2009-05-29
Age : 29
Location : In my own little world....it's okay: they know me there.

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Olympian Parent: Hephaestus
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Post  Hamlin11fan18 Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:46 am

Hamlin11fan18 wrote:Name: Airel Samantha Hamlin prefers to be called air or sammie
Age:17
God Parent:Apollo
Mortal Family: Jordan Hamlin(dead)Mary lu Hamlin(grandma)
Years in Camp:3
Brief History: She was born on long island new york.At age five she witinised a murder.By the time she was 6 she ran away and found the camp by wondering around.She was at her grandmother's house when she ran away.She needed to get away from her grandma anyways.at age 12 she found a boyfriend named Macbeth patterson.
Physical Appearance:She has short wavy black hair to about right below her ears.She has hazel eyes hidden behind her green glasses.She is 4'1" and lean but athletic ( she is on the school swim team).She dresses like a rock star every day because her idol does.She wears a necklace with her name on it and she wears her class ring from her highschool.
Personality: She is kind and caring to her friends family and boyfriend.She is manipulative towards people who get in her way.She is also very mean and rude to anyone who gets in her way.She gets mad when someone calls her Lady Macbeth because it is not the same person from the shakesphere play.She also find it hard to trust people who she just met.
Fatal Flaw: Deadly pride. This can ruin her because she doesn't know it is making her boyfriend go crazy.It can also ruin her because she is to prideful when she wins.It is negivitive because she hates to ask for help even when shen needs it.
Talents:singing archery healing. The healing is her power.She can heal anything from scraps and bruises to 3 inch deep lacerations and 4 inch deep wounds or broken bones. she can use it twice a day and three hours apart. she can only heal herself and two others.
Weapons:bow and celestial bronzed tipped arrows and a celeistal bronze sword
Other:

Hamlin11fan18

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Post  Axel The Bunny Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:31 pm

i probably shouldnt be posting here but...you kinda just ignored the Jake (generalArin) and posted the exact same application with a different age. just fix your App and then you can get approved to RP by the staff. your character still is being defined by the boyfriend too much. also it might be better to add some to the  brief history. such as how they originally came to camp. maybe also go into a bit of detail explaining the murder to show how exactly that is relevent Sorry if it seems like im butting in. i just figured it would be better if i gave a little advice on how u can fix your App.
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Axel The Bunny

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Join date : 2013-10-14
Age : 28
Location : Causing needless destruction

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