New Character.

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New Character.

Post  Brandon T. on Wed May 14, 2014 7:00 pm

Name: Brandon Tytler

Age: 11

Godly Parent: Athena

Mortal Family: Mother: Victoria Tytler   Father: Tracy Tytler   Brother: Trenton Penn

Years in Camp: 1

History:  I Had a normal life until a satyr discovered me as a demigod.

Physical Appearance: Male. Blond. Hazel eyes. 4'7" tall. Skinny

Personality: Is kind of bossy, but witty. Likes to be leader.

Fatal Flaw: Can't stand being or doing something wrong. May end up arguing with the wrong person or over thinking things and screwing them up.

Talents: Self-trained in sword combat. Master of battle/game strategies. Likes to play in scnerio games involving combat.

Weapons: A magic short lightweight sword that disappears when it is not needed, and appears when it is.

Other:Pain ressistant. Not super ressistant just a little
Brandon T.

Posts : 1
Drachmae : 3
Join date : 2014-05-14
Age : 15

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Re: New Character.

Post  GeneralArin on Wed May 14, 2014 8:33 pm

You need more... pretty much everything. 
There's a sentence requirement. 

History: Your life up until this point in the roleplay. This includes your former home life, major events, and if applicable, what you've done in camp up until now. At least 8 sentences. Be sure to include details! 
Even if you have a fairly default history, mention a little of your home life, where you're from, and your relationship with your family. And then you want to be at camp for a year. Tell about what happened then. 

Personality and appearance both need four sentences. That's complete sentences, not just words. You're describing a person, not a doll. For your personality, try thinking about how your character acts towards other people, in stressful situations, and when they're alone. 

You can't self-train in swordfighting. 
Waving a sword around doesn't mean you're good at it, and for combat, you need someone to fight against to know how to act in battle. 

Anything combat related like that needs to be justified in your backstory.

Your fatal flaw should relate to your personality. There's plenty of room to fix your personality. 

Yeah. Just flesh out just about everything.

"Oh.. you're one of *those* guys. You don't care if someone beats the crap out of *you*, but if someone threatens to lay a finger on a family member you totally freak out."

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Posts : 2791
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Join date : 2009-05-29
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