Seraphine Simmons

Name: Seraphine Simmons

Age: 14

God Parent: Nyx

Mortal Family: Her father was Myvon Casio Simmons. He was killed in a monster attack. Her father has had many girlfriends, but her most recent one was Claire Harper. She was killed in the same attack Seraphine's father was

Years in Camp: Not yet arrived (I'm assuming we can roleplay a camper arriving and learning about camp and the gods.)

History: Seraphine grew up in a rather bad area of a city in South Carolina. Her father worked in the black market. He and Seraphine were never very close. Before he met Nyx, he still worked on the black market, but he didn't have commitment issues. Nyx was drawn to him because he loved astronomy and because of his rather shady past. However, once Nyx left him, his world shattered. He had many girlfriends, none of which lasted more than a few weeks. He was quite a mess and didn't pay much attention to his daughter. None of the girlfriends particularly liked Seraphine. She tried to stay out of their way as much as possible.

She was expelled from every school she attended. She has ADHD and dyslexia, being a demigod, so most all of her teachers seemed to dislike her. On top of that, monsters frequently attacked her. Mortals couldn't see through the mist, so it usually just looked like Seraphine was causing trouble when she fought back. She didn't have anything celestial bronze, so fighting them was difficult, but she managed.

From an early age she knew something was different about her. She had strange powers that didn't make much sense to her, and she often saw strange creatures that no one else could see. They all seemed to be out to get her, and she didn't know exactly why, but she knew one thing. She was special, and she loved it, even though she instinctively understood that life would never be easy for her.

She has never had a friend. People all seemed to be afraid of her. Seraphine didn't care. Speech was tedious. She preferred to remain silent unless there was a need to talk. Most of the people her age seemed so shallow, so silly. She decided they were not worth associating with.

Her father and his current girlfriend died in a monster attack. It happened in the middle of the night. His father and Claire Harper were asleep, but Seraphine was up. She was usually awake most of the night. They were working for Kronos. Seraphine managed to escape, but she couldn't save her father and his girlfriend. Even though she was never close to them, she still feels guilty.

When they were killed, she decided to get out of the city. The monsters tracked her, but she outsmarted them. She hid in the shadows until satyr found her and helped her get to Camp Half-Blood.

Physical Appearance: Seraphine has skin as pale as paper and pitch black hair that reaches her waist. Her eyes are black with flakes of blue. She is slightly taller than average and very slender. She dresses in all black clothing, which is generally ripped and worn.

Personality: She is often seen as cold, calculating, and aloof. She only talks when there is something of absolute importance to say. She can easily manipulate her personality, plastering on a mask like another person might swallow; it is a completely natural for her to hide herself completely from the world. She observes everything that happens, but rarely participates herself. When she does, she leaves a dramatic mark. She is very cunning and manipulative. She prefers to be mysterious. It amuses her when others try to figure her out. Her voice is soft, but dangerous, powerful. People often underestimate her, but they regret it.

Fatal Flaw: She is distrusting. She has never had a friend and doesn't want to open up to anybody. This could definitely cause problems, as she can not do everything herself. In order to survive, she needs to place at least a small amount of trust in others. She doesn't want anyone else in her life, but she needs people.

Talents: Seraphine plays violin and sings.

Weapons: She wields a celestial bronze dagger which was a gift from the satyr that led her to camp.

Other: Because she is a daughter of Nyx, she can manipulate darkness. She can bend shadows and shadow travel. She can communicate with nocturnal creatures, as Nyx is the goddess of the night. She is stronger in the night and can see clearly in the darkness.

Okay, first off: Explain what you mean by "manipulate darkness". That's a very vague thing, and rather non-intuitive. And speaking with nocturnal creatures needs to be justified. And the "very powerful". You don't really have many powers that lend itself to this, and the only other explanation is you're referring to something else that should concern me.


Your father was said to be killed, but there isn't any mention of him. And then you mention your stepmother and don't include her. How did they die? (And how did they not get civil service called on them for not providing food and clothing for their kid?) Pickpocketing isn't exactly easy... I'm not sure that's plausible. 

Those are my main concerns.

I changed it. Is that better?

Okay, some questions/things that need to be fixed:

1) What was this "not so reputable business" your father was in? It seems rather important, since it's mentioned.

2) In general, the history feels lacking to me. For one thing, a person can't get married and divorced every few months. Going through a divorce can take months, especially since the two people involved don't always agree on the divorce. It sounds more like to me the dad just has commitment issues, in which case I don't know why he'd be marrying all the time... And what was his whole relationship with Nyx? How did he manage to have a kid with her and none of all these other women? Also, you never actually say how your father and stepmother die--a monster attack, yes, but what happened?

3) For the weapons, does she have the dagger before or after she gets to camp? Cuz if she has it before, she needs to have some kind of justifiable reason to have Celestial bronze anything on her. If you mean she gets it after she arrives, it's fine. (Though, I'd have to wonder what other way she gets away from monsters...)

4) For the other... staff has come to an executive decision that you cannot do the whole soul-self, "leaving your body thing," and you cannot manipulate shadows to become solid objects or weapons. Aside from the impracticality and impossibility of this, it's rather OP (overpowered). You can keep the night vision, stronger in night (but that should only be to the extent of having more energy and stamina), shadow-traveling, and speaking to nocturnal animals. However, her aura wouldn't be stronger because Nyx is primeval--auras are based on how well-known the said god or goddess is, which is why the Big Three have the strongest (besides them being the rulers of the three main powers and such). You would have the regular aura of a minor god child.

Okay, some questions/things that need to be fixed:

1) and 2) Alright. I shall change the history and make it much more detailed.

3) Alright. Could a celestial bronze weapon be a gift from the satyr that guided her to camp?

4) I am completely fine with her not being able to turn into darkness or make it into solid objects. I never quite understood how it was possible, but it was listed as a power of a child of Nyx on another site. I am fine with her not being as powerful, but from my understanding Nyx isn't a minor god. She is a primordial god. In some myths she was the first deity, in others she was born out of Khaos. She is more powerful and feared than even the big three. I didn't know auras were stronger based on how 'well known' the god(ess) is, but if that is the case, I will of course change it, though it doesn't make much sense to me. Also, would it be possible for her to move shadows a bit, as long as they weren't solid? I am fine with whatever.

I was going to post links to where I got my information on Nyx, but new members aren't allowed to, which absolutely makes sense, as they could be spammers and all of that.

Yay! You have a character now! : D The history is much, much, much better. Looks good. Yes, your satyr giving you your knife is fine--and since it was never directly answered, yes, it's also fine for you to RP your character arriving and finding out about the gods and whatnot.

Oh, did I not mention we were fine with darkness manipulation? Yes, you can manipulate shadows, or bend, or whatever you wanna call it. Bending them around you, around other things, whatever--that's fine. And yes, I know all of Nyx's backstory and how powerful she is--I know more about the gods and goddesses than most people on this site. xP And I see where you're coming from, but we also have a child of Erebus on here (and I think there was another child of Nyx somewhere...), and Erebus is also a very powerful primordial god--Nyx's mate, to be exact. However, her character doesn't have some super-powerful aura, so that's mainly why I'm discouraging it here as well. It might be stronger than a regular minor god's, but not the same as the Big Three.

So, just fix that wording about the aura a bit, and you should be good. Approved. (Just wait for one other approval).

Alright. That makes sense; I have changed it. Thank you very much!

Approved