Nerissa Terzi

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Nerissa Terzi

Post  nerissaterzi on Thu Dec 18, 2014 5:40 pm

Name: Nerissa Morpheus Terzi

Age: 14

God Parent: Hecate

Mortal Family: Demetrius Terzi-Father; Thanos Terzi- twin brother

Years in Camp: 3

History: Nerissa was one of those girls who never fit in at all. In school she always did poorly and most people thought she was a stoner due to her paleness and dark circles under her eyes. But it was all the ghosts fault really. She would try to sleep but all the death and tormenting from the undead would keep her awake at night. She managed to breeze by un-noticed until she was claimed and then ran away from home to find the camp where she now presides.

Physical Appearance: Nerissa has silver eyes due to usage of magic and powers. An X shaped scar lies over her heart due to a previous attack by a ghost. She shows no real muscle but is not weak by any means. She's only about 5ft. 8in. so she isn't easily picked on for her height. She also has a tattoo on the inside of her left arm that she got when she learned of her mother, Hecate.(i will provide a picture of the tattoo is need be.)

Personality: She’s not much of a people person and tends to stick to the woods to be alone and write music in peace or talk with the dead. She doesn't talk to anyone really. Nobody besides her black cat,Crow, that is. If you get to know her though you'll find her a joy to be around.

Fatal Flaw: Nerissa's fatal flaw is her inability to accept herself and let people get close to her. She'll face almost everything alone no matter what the matter at hand is.

Talents: She is amazingly agile and light on her feet due to jumping from tree branch to tree branch growing up and she writes music that can invoke the most amazing emotion while her drawings look as if they were photos.

Weapons: Katana and two Sai made of bronze

Other: She has a black electric guitar signed by Ashley Purdy and Andy Biersack and a love for books.

Posts : 2
Drachmae : 6
Join date : 2014-12-18
Age : 20
Location : Alone

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Re: Nerissa Terzi

Post  Cerulaen on Mon Dec 22, 2014 5:00 am

Okay, sorry for taking forever and a day to get to this. Let’s see if I can do a quick overview, since it’s 3:40 in the morning.

History: Well for one thing, when you mention people in your family section, I’d like to know more about them in your history. You say you have a twin brother, so I’d like to know how he’s not a demigod but your character is? Plus, being a twin myself, I happen to know that twins tend to be a big part in each other’s lives, even if they hate each other. But unless you can give a legitimate reason for her even having a twin…I’d just make him a regular brother. And still give some information about her relationship with him as well as her father.
Also for history, and throughout the rest of the app—I know that Hecate is also the goddess of ghosts along with magic, so I imagine that’s where you’re coming from. However, if her mother is the patron of ghosts, why would the ghosts be bugging and terrorizing her? I don’t really see the validity in this.
Then lastly, you say you’ve been at camp for three years, so I’d like to know what you’ve been doing during that time.

Physical Appearance: Why exactly would her eyes be silver because she uses magic? It’s never been mentioned in the books that magic has any effect on the eyes. She can just have silver-looking eyes normally, though. Also—with the scars from the ghost. Ghosts are intangible. They can’t actually harm you. And again, why were the ghosts attacking her? Did she upset the ghost mafia or something? And your character is currently 14, you say she got a tattoo when she learned of her mother…so that would’ve been when she was 11 when she got to camp 3 years ago. 11-year-olds can’t get tattoos. That’s kind of illegal, unless with parental consent, and even with that at that age I’m not sure most tattoo parlors would allow it… Just gonna put that out there.

Personality: I really hate/don’t mean to shoot down people’s personalities, but you have to understand—this is a role-playing site, which is literally based around interacting with people. You can have your character go sit in the woods alone if you like, but I can tell you right now that other people aren’t just going to come up to her and ask her how things are going. So I would just think about that. I don’t really know what else to tell you.

Other Shtuff: I’m not really understanding this jumping from tree to tree business…it’s not mentioned at all in history, and unless you’re part squirrel, that’s a pretty impossible feat that’s really random and unexplained in general. So I’d come up with a better explanation if you want her being agile. For her weapons, a katana is all well and good, but Sai—those are specialized weapons that you really can’t learn on your own and would need to be taught by an actual teacher to be any good at with. And since that’s not in the training program at Camp Half-Blood, you would need some sort of explanation for that in your history to justify those. Otherwise, just stick to the katana.

I don’t mean to sound so harsh on all of this, we just try to keep our characters realistic and everything here so people don’t go crazy. So just try to fix all those things and we’ll take another look!
Match Maker

Posts : 1367
Drachmae : 3030
Join date : 2013-06-24
Age : 21
Location : Am I allowed to say Azarath?

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Olympian Parent: Aphrodite
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