Meet Emma!!

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Meet Emma!!

Post  Watercat on Fri May 23, 2014 4:11 pm

Name:Emma Clark
Age:12
God parent: am I alowed to have poisiden if not Hermes
Mortal family:Chloe Clark Brian Jefferson (step dad Emma refuses to have the last name jeferson)
Years in camp:0
History: (this is long so prepare your selfs)
5 Y.O. She asked her mom why she married him in the first place she changed the subject! So little Emma took this to mind if she can't divorce him he will have to divorce her! She brought a dog home he got mad but did not leave so she got his favorite shirt dirty with a stain he would not leave!so she did something that he hated the most PRANKS!!!! She showered him in pranks but he just would not leave so she gave up
6 Y.O. She asked her mom the same question she changed the subject again! Then little Emma asked her about her real father changed the subject!she just would not talk about them it got her really sad so she went to her room and simply read a bunch of books.Brian got her back for last here in the meanest way ever...he hit her mother when she heard her mom crying she rushed to the kitchen and kicked him in the face!
9 Y.O. She still hated her step dad but she tried to look on the bright side... But there was no bright side . She got kicked out of 5 schools that year, her dad was the meanest step dad ever and she still did not know her real father!
12:Emma is now going to a new school and she is pretty nervous she had just turned 12 and she felt like every year was the same thing she hated it!
Physical Appearance: Yellow t shirt .Jeans .long light blue hair (Yes she was born with it). light blue eyes .black high heels. And average height for 12 year old.
Personality:Emma is Stubborn.Emma is also bossy sometimes.She is usually happy and cheerful.If she goes to a new school she will be a little bit shy until she has a friend she can depend on.Emma is usally a fast thinker.she has ADHD and dislexia
Fated flaw:Pride
Talents: Emma is great at piano.she also is great at soccer.
Weapons: Emma has a sapphire sword named ruby and a ruby sheild named sapphire ( oh the irony ) they both are bracelates (until they are activated) with a gem on it sword:sapphire sheild:ruby
Other: Emma hates girly stuff she is a huge tomboy she would not be cought dead in a skirt.

Watercat

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Re: Meet Emma!!

Post  GeneralArin on Fri May 23, 2014 5:59 pm

Okay, so first, your fatal flaw needs to be elaborated on. Explain what you mean by the word, how this fits into your character's personality and normal life, and how this would negatively affect your character. 

Your personality is how your character usually acts by definition, so unless she's bi-polar or genuinely changes in normal circumstances on a regular basis, you don't need to add "usually" to everything. ADHD and dyslexia are expected, so unless you need to have it there to remember, you don't need to mention it unless it isn't an issue. 
And overall, it feels a bit lacking. Maybe try thinking of how she acts in different situations?

And your fatal flaw and personality need to interconnect. 


I know we have one active Poseidon kid, so personally, I'd rather you go with your back up choice.

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Re: Meet Emma!!

Post  Cerulaen on Sun May 25, 2014 11:09 pm

Oh, and the sapphire and ruby weapons? That's a no. We only use Celestial bronze here. Plus I very much doubt gemstones of any kind except diamonds would make very effective weapons...

And here's a question: how does a little girl kick a grown man in the face? I might be almost 17, but I'm tiny, and my legs do not go up that far, sad to say. I think you should take a look at some other histories that have been approved and see how those are laid out, and what kind of content is in them, because I don't think your history tells me a WHOLE lot about how your character has developed thus far in her life.

I will say that I like how your character is currently in school and, as far as I can tell, doesn't know she's a demigod yet. That way you can join the school topics and find out she's a demigod there, which I don't think has ever been done before on this site...
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