Half-Blood Vengeance
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Dante Aloe

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Dante Aloe Empty Dante Aloe

Post  Fante Aloe Sun Sep 13, 2015 7:59 am

Name: Dante Aloe

Age: 13

God Parent: Athena

Mortal Family: Evan Aloe and Abigail Franklin

Years in Camp: None

History: Dante has had a decent childhood in Dearborn.  He learned at an early age that his mother went out to help American troops after 9/11 and never returned.  His father married Abigail Franklin, who treated Dante like a son she never wanted.  Whenever she had the chance, she would criticize Dante.  Luckily, Dante had friends.  One day, while on a field trip at school, a monster attacked.  A hell hound to be exact. It turns out that there was another demigod in the area that attacked the hell hound, drawing its attention from Dante.  That was when his father, Evan Aloe, told him of a special place for protection.  A place named Camp Halfblood.  So, he went out, making friends along the way.  Soon, he and his  friends found the camp.  This was when his adventures would begin.

Physical Appearance:  Dante is a lean, blond haired boy.  He is about 5'3, and have a scar on my cheek.   His eyes are grey and have an intelligent look to them.  Finally, he has a slight tan on his arms and face.

Personality: Dante is a proud person, as well as a wise one.  He can tell who to trust and who not to, usually.  He even can think of a plan of attack fairly easy.  And he is a loyal friend, protecting those that he loves.  He is also wary of strangers, keeping an eye on them until he can trust them.  That is a process that can take some time.  He is always alert for danger.  That was from when he was first attacked.  And, he has a sense of humor, although it is more intellectual. While he is introverted, he warms up to people easily. He uses logic for all situations that he confronts. For example, when he and his friends saw monsters nearby, they sneaked past them to the best of their ability, all while analyzing them for weaknesses. He also tries to keep the peace by offering a third option when two people (or groups) are arguing. When his friends are getting hurt, he always jumps in to their aid. He has a sense of honor when he gets in a fight; when an opponent is down, he doesn't keep beating on them. He also is compassionate, comforting people when they are feeling down. His key traits are being protective, helpful, and compassionate.

Fatal Flaw: His fatal flaw is being protective.  He came upon this when one of his friends were attacked.  On his way to the camp, whenever he and his half-blood friends took a break, he would always volunteer to protect the others while they slept.  The reason it is a flaw is that he can cause destruction to his mind and body, which may kill him.

Talents: Dante is extraordinary in recalling historical events and creating plans of attack from history.

Weapons: He has an Olympian Bronze knife from another demigod on his way to Camp Halfblood.

Other: Arachnophobic


Last edited by Fante Aloe on Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:07 pm; edited 3 times in total
Fante Aloe
Fante Aloe

Posts : 16
Drachmae : 40
Join date : 2015-09-13
Age : 26

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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Axel The Bunny Sun Sep 13, 2015 11:04 am

Please write strictly in third person

your history is more than just how you came to camp, give me an idea of how life was before camp.

personality needs expansion and some tweaking. I recommend avoiding subjective terms like "nice" unless you are Snow White nobody should be described as simply "Nice" as it is an incredibly subjective term.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 617
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Age : 28
Location : Causing needless destruction

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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Fante Aloe Sun Sep 13, 2015 11:50 am

Thanks for the tip/
Fante Aloe
Fante Aloe

Posts : 16
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Age : 26

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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Axel The Bunny Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:21 pm

Ok seeing your history now it seems short, and that is bugging e but after actually reading it you seem to have all your bases cover so I guess it's fine.

Personality is still far too short, you need to give me an idea of who he is as a person, how does he act and what traits define his behavior. Your personality at the moment is too brief for me to consider approving it. Also relate your fatal flaw to your personality, because the fatal flaw is a major defining trait.

Fix that and you're approved.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 617
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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Axel The Bunny Sun Sep 13, 2015 2:54 pm

Just as a note of reference, we get no update when you make edits, so please try to post a thing to bump the topic up when you do.

Alright you have an alright start for personality but I'm gonna have to ask for more, I'm not getting much more than an extremely superficial idea of your character. Why does he behave in certain ways? how does he react to situations? what are the key traits that define him as a person? Does he not warm up to people easily because he is shy? or is he simply introverted?

Also something that was pointed out to me is that you never explained how he survived that encounter with a hellhound, they arent the type of monsters that are easy to get away from, and an inexperienced, unarmed demigod isn't exactly capable of fighting one off.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 617
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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Fante Aloe Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:08 pm

Bump.
Fante Aloe
Fante Aloe

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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Axel The Bunny Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:19 pm

Alright looks good for me, I'll go ahead and say approved.
Wait for a second staff member to comment though, then you are free to RP.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 617
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Dante Aloe Empty Re: Dante Aloe

Post  Fante Aloe Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:20 pm

Thank you.
Fante Aloe
Fante Aloe

Posts : 16
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Age : 26

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Post  Catryn Greyling Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:26 pm

Approved, have fun roleplaying. Very Happy
Catryn Greyling
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